Merry Christmas

Christmas season was a nice time for me. I really enjoy the getting out and shopping. The little things like impromptu concerts on the street and it is great sharing time with Marla as we make it through my recovery. Speaking of which, here I am stuck at -30. Stuck again. It appears that while those I know lose gradually like going down a slide, I appear to be going down like it is a set of steps. Down, slide a long, down, slide a long. So this time I don't panic. Just ride it out. I still exercise; I still eat less.

In our world we have this great schedule of Christmas activities. Christmas eve is a special dinner at home. Christmas day is a Scottish dinner with very dear old friends. Boxing Day is our own turkey dinner. I face it with a bit of apprehension because for our boxing eve dinner I made a very tender roast pork. I dumped. We had Game Hen for Christmas. I dumped big time. Now, Boxing Day I am not sure if I really want to make a turkey. It is all thawed and ready to go. Part of me says cut my losses and run. The other part is saying 'no, eat smaller, chew more, and learn".

I think that is what this is all about. Learning.

Catching up and not going anywhere

I had that darnedest thing happen this morning. I was looking in the mirror and for a moment - just a moment - I didn't recognize myself. My chipmunk cheeks were missing. The other thing that I noticed is that my fingers looked longer. I don't think they were longer further out from my body but they look narrower and hence longer.

I have been very angry with myself lately because I have stopped losing weight. It is dissappointing to see all these people reporting that their weight continues to fall and in the mean while mine has only dropped one pound in two weeks. Going down is better than going up, much better, but I am really frustrated. Everyone else says "Don't worry, stalls and plateaus are normal" but I thought they would come in five or six months after my surgery and not at five or six weeks.

I keep seeing a old British World War Two sign that says "Keep Calm and Carry On". It shows up everywhere and I guess that it is the universe giving me a message. So I am going to take everyone's advice and keep doing what I am doing - which is my best effort at staying healthy - and go on through my day. Keeping Calm and Carrying On. So out I go to exercise - I only have a few weeks left before work will interfere with my workout schedule. As my plan was before, I want to make the most of this time. I have increased my walks to between 8 and 10km and doing this now five or six times a week. The dog really likes the walks but after a 10k walk she wants to sleep for about an hour. Then it is back to being a crazy dog.

Plateaus, forums, and closet cleaning

Week Seven - I did my regular Sunday weigh-in and I am only down a pound. Crap. I know that plateaus are supposed to happen but that didn't stop me from wanting it to go on and on. I got used to my losing three to four pounds per week. But here I am only dropping one. One is good and losing one is better than gaining.
I think the biggest issue here is considering that I have undergone a major change in my physical structure; I should have an expectation for my body to take the occasional time to rebuild and adjust to my new stomach, eating plan, and exercise schedule. Thanks to some advice and counsel on Facebook and WLS Private Group I feel a bit better.
I was out having lunch with Marla yesterday, a trip downtown to enjoy the Tuba Christmas concert and lunch at one of our favourite restaurants. I find I still cannot eat steak very well but I enjoyed watching Marla have hers. I had a really good peanut chicken where I could only eat a few bits and bites of chicken and that was enough.
Yesterday was also our WLS Saturday Forum group. There were not many of us there; in fact I was a little disheartened that more people don't go to the forums. I am not sure why people do not attend the forums. It is like they go through the steps to get their surgery then stop when the forum could do them the most good. I really wonder why people dissappear after surgery. I think it is because at the heart of this disease is the desire to be independent. So as soon as they are done - poof - they are gone. I hope it works for them. For me I need the experience of people who have been there before.
Tonight Marla and I emptied my closet out off all the bad, oversize, and old clothes. We cleared out bunches of t-shirts and sweaters that I have collected over the years. Somebody at Value Village is going to get a whole bunch of rock 'n' roll roadie t-shirts real soon.

Its a question of size

Today I found myself having lunch with Marla. As usual we were in a hurry and I couldn't find really anywhere good to eat so we ended up at a shopping mall Japanese Restaurant - Edo Japan. Edo was one of my fav presurgery restaurants. It was fairly easy to knock off a large plate of teriyaki chicken, side of sushi, and a large coke. I was fairly confident that I could fool myself into eating healthy.
So here I am six weeks after my surgery, down 25 pounds, and feeling pretty good. So now it is a question of choices. I am now looking at this small plate that Marla and I are sharing thing "Wow, this isn't very much." Really it was more than enough. I was able to have some of the chicken - it was better with just a little sauce on it as opposed to smothered in sugary good the way I liked it before - and I enjoyed a few mushrooms. Rice, bad idea. But this time I could anticipate full and stopped before I got into trouble.

So what's the difference in six weeks? Here is a pair of pics a month a part. Not much difference for now but I can sure feel better.


Not a lot of difference yet, but at six weeks I am at the start of my journey not the end.

For me it is now learning that the amount I eat is smaller and its noticeable. I am getting smaller - barely noticeable. I keep reminding myself that I am at a point my choices are important. When I started eating smaller I used to get my servings on a salad plate instead of a dinner plate, now I have down graded that to a saucer. I know I am just a newbie at this, and who knows what changes will happen, but for now I am happy and grateful that things are going the way they are.

My First Buffet road trip

So here I am six weeks out of my RNY surgery and feeling very good. I am down about 25 pounds and under my doctor's instructions eating almost normally. I know a lot of you are going to say "I couldn't have normal foods for five or six months at least." He told me to go out and try things. Get of the soft liquid stuff and make the stomach work for you. I think it may have been a dare because there are definitely things I cannot and should not eat. Lettuce. But surprisingly he said "Try whole wheat bread now and then and not too much - the carbs will do you good." I haven't really been that brave yet.
This week is Marla's birthday so we are off on our bi-annual casino holiday. We start in Bellingham at the Skatgit and move down to Seattle and the Tulalip, then up again to the River Rock in Richmond. It is a nice get away and because a lot of it is comped it was a bit of a foodie frenzy in the pre-surgery days. I would waddle into these great American Buffets - filled with fried fatty things like deep fried chicken, gravy, and thick salad dressing - fill my plate four or five times and congratulate myself for stopping before it got ridiculous.
So now as I perused the buffet it became a question of "Oh My God, what is there here that I can eat?" First of all - nothing fried. Then no carbs. I fell back on my training over the last three years and ditched the plates that were the size of home plate in a major league baseball game and took the smallest salad plate I could find. I refined this decision and ended up using a saucer.
Secondly - another of my rules of buffets - I have to see the plate between the food. No overlapping and no piling on. So I went first for the fish - nice moist salmon. Then I had the carver give me a small small thin slice of just rare beef. My final selection for this round was chicken. Your likely saying - gee that's a lot. My serving sizes were about the size of a teaspoon or just a taste. Still I was eating the protein first.
Marla couldn't resist one of her and my old favourites. - mashed potatoes and corn. She was feeling guilty that she was eating something that I couldn't have. I reassured her that I really didn't want it and couldn't think I would handle it very well anyways. So it was all right.
Finally - I can't just have protein. We normally eat European style where the salad is the third or last course, but I am not so good with lettuce. What I did find was cottage cheese, peaches (which mix great with the cheese) shredded cheddar (a little fatty but okay), I went for danger and tried a tomato. There was actually some things on the salad bar that was okay.
I guess the biggest thing I had to decide was that it is okay to leave stuff on your plate. For desert I found the surgar free section. I had a slice of sugar free blueberry pie and only had the tiny point of the slice.
The first time we tried this I either chewed so much that I swallowed a lot of air and burped constantly for the next two hours. The next day, I ate smaller and chewed less, and no burps. I should also say that these were by far the largest meals of the day. They are pretty average in size to what I am eating, by my very rough calorie count, really rough, it is about 400 calories per meal. So I am still shooting for eating about 800 calories a day. And all my other meals are still soft food. I have grown to really like yoghurt.
Now I really reminiscing about food but I would much rather talk about exercise. So aside from all the shopping that Marla is making us do; I am also getting a whole lot of exercise done in the fitness facilities of the hotels we are staying. I get 45 minutes of swimming and water exercise each day, and another 45 minutes of cardio and strength exercises. I am feeling really good. Now if I could only win something in the casino.

Blake's Symphony of Burps

Burp!
I am almost five weeks out of RNY surgery.
Burp!
And I feel pretty good.
Burp!
But now it seems that every time I eat.
Burp!
I am giving up a symphony of Burps.

Big Burps, Small Burps, Two in a row.
Burps like hiccups. Burps like farts.
On and on they go.

They sounds quite disgusting.
They are wearing me out.
My family I am tiring.
I'm quite ready to shout.

It's not just what I am eating,
Protein, water or fat,
Sugar, fiber, not carb'ing
Burps are apparently where its at.

Apparently it is something
That may end eventually .
But each mealtime will bring,
One more loud symphony
Of me out there burping.

Big Burps, Small Burps, Two in a row.
Burps like hiccups. Burps like farts.
On and on they go.

Celebrations in one way or the other

The last couple of days have been interesting to say the least. I got a clean bill of health from my endocrinologist who tells me that I am doing fine, reducing my metformin by two thirds and only taking 10% of the insulin that I did before surgery is doing me some good. We reviewed my diet and blood surgars - from my eating habits he said I have a "cast-iron stomach" and approved me to keep on with my same plan.
Sometimes encouragement is not really a good thing. I felt good enough that I wanted a burger from White Spot. For anyone not from BC and not familiar with White Spot - it is a wonderful burger restaurant that has classed up over the years but still serves some of the best hamburgers. They are great at splitting our burgers so we only share one order. I had this urge to celebrate my doctor's blessing with some cooked beef. Aside from a tiny chunk of stewed meat I have avoided the bovine delights for the past six weeks.
Now I am totally on my good bariatric behaviour. I am not eating the buns! Frankly lettuce scares the hell out of me so I am not going for the lettuce or even the tomato. And the coleslaw is simply stiff lettuce, so I am staying away from that. But then there were the fries. No, avoid the fries and try the beef.
I cut it into small, small chunks. Oh, my G-d this is good. I take my time. Eat slow. Eat small and all is well. I finish but our waitress has disappeared. Oh yes, she said she was taking her break. Well whoever is looking after her table is obviously on a break too. The fries are calling to me. I move the plate away so they are not under my nose - tempting me with that crisp crust holding a soft sensuous potato. What the hell, I have "cast-iron stomach" so I idly tried one fry - no big deal. Then another - and I realized this is pushing it so I stopped. I put my plate on another table so it wouldn't tempt me and I wouldn't be sniffing it.
Marla and I were then going to go out for a walk along a real pretty trail in Saanich, the dog was anxious to go but by the time I got from the door of the restaurant to the tailgate of the truck I felt like my heart was going to explode.
I am getting familiar with this feeling. It is telling me - "hey I am full and you put something in me that isn't what I want." After three hours of a squeeze in the chest, a symphony of burping, and just plain uncomfortableness - I barfed. It is amazing how something so disgusting can make you feel so good. But I felt a whole bunch better.
The next day it was time to visit my GP - She had to give me the once over post surgery style. It has been four weeks today since my surgery and in review I am feeling great. I am happy. I feel a little smaller. So she checked my blood pressure and it was excellent. She got me up on the dreaded scale and I am down to 279 pounds. I haven't been under 280 in many many years. So all in all I am feeling great.
Marla got me an interesting present - when we were out at costco she found a Canucks hockey hoodie - I am a freak for hoodies. So she insisted on getting me a large size sweater. But wait - I have been wearing XXL and XXXL for years. So she had me put it on - and it fit. It was a tight fit but by the time we go see a game in January it should be fine. I like that she has faith in me even though she gave me a really bad time for trying out the fries.

Learning Challenged

Tonight I am in Pain. My chest hurts - a bunch. And frankly I wanted this - really. When I first considered getting a gastric bypass I knew that there would be times that my body would react to some foods. I was hoping that it would be some reaction to sugar or chocolate, maybe booze or flour. But nothing happened. I tested my new tummy and tried different things, everything went down fine. I was beginning to worry the Dr. Amson just faked me out and put in seven holes in my stomach to heal up and just look like he did the surgery.

But I am beginning to catch on. My tummy is operating as it should do; and along the way it is teaching me some valuable information. I am not reacting to specific foods but the amount of foods that I take in. I remember one time when Pat from the Tuesday group brought in some really small plates, side plate size, and said this is about the size a meal should be. I laughed at this tiny thing but promised and tried it. The smaller plates helped a lot; especially at work where they serve us buffets.

I am so surprised at how little food I really do need to sustain myself. Prior to surgery I was on about 2,500 calories a day, now I am in the 400 to 500 range. My old side plate has been reduced to a saucer and that is just a place to hold food. I can only eat about two or three ounces of anything. Dr. Amson said he made my stomach about the size of my index finger so I use that as a guide and say "this is all I will eat for now."

Now if I could only remember at commitment. Tonight I picked up a roasted chicken at Costco and decided I would try a little leg. It was really good even if I did cut it up into little bits and fed the skin to the dog. But I was still a tad hungry so I tried the second leg. Precious the pup got a big chunk of chicken but I got the rest. And it was way too much. So I am back to having this pain in my chest. I know it will go away - in a couple of hours - but in the meantime it is just a world of self inflicted discomfort. But it is all a learning curve and sometimes I think I am a slow learner.

Oops! I meant that. A klutzy day

Today I was a klutz. I was happily walking along the beach looking out over the waves and the logs when I saw a good opportunity to take a great picture. I walked into the end of the logs which was a fairly substantial size log and took my picture looking backwards to the shore. And then I started walking back across the long log. That's when my foot gave way and I tumbled in a somersault motioned onto my back on the beach. I don't know if I was too shocked to move or just felt like I looked too silly but I lay there for a few minutes. Finally I got up, brush myself off, then proceeded with my walk just slightly embarrassed.

Worse for wear, I injured my leg, damaged my finger, and wanted my pride. I know that Marla will be very ticked me for doing something silly.
However he did have a lovely watch for the rest of my time out on the beach. When I came to the crest of the hill that looked down at the ocean I saw five otter playing in the tide.

Marla and I went out for lunch at J & J Wonton downtown. It was my first time to try out Chinese Food. It is amazing how helpful they were because I explain my surgery to the waitress and she told the cook and they made me that bariatric Chinese dinner. It was verygood but I was amazed at how little of it I could eat. Marla was very hungry and she cleaned up everything else.

I had a really good appointment with Dr. Amson this afternoon. As usual he was late but that was okay. We got to talk to Susan and had a nice visit. Then the visit with Dr. Amson was quite positive. He wants me to exercise more, and lifted most of my exercise restrictions. He is very encouraging and I like that. I met two of his patients, Larry and begins with an N, and we have a nice chat about bariatric surgery.

But I was going to do a bunch of house cleaning tonight but my leg hurt too much, so did my finger, so I'm taking it easy and will attack it tomorrow. So my weight is down to 286. That his 13 pounds since my surgery. I would like that to be more but I'm happy with this. Not a very profound blog but it will have to do for today. The funky thing about today's blog is that it was dictated rather than typed. I love playing with new gadgets.

I know this pain.

Ouch, why does this always happen at 2:30am? Ouch, the pain in my side is getting my attention. Ow, what is happening? My plumbing has stopped. My pipes aren't working. My god this hurts. Honey, I hate to wake you up but we have to go to the hospital now!

I guess if I have to go to the hospital 2:30am is about the best time of day. No traffic was we drive out on the highway to Victoria General. Easy to park but I resent paying for parking in the middle of the night when there are only two other cars in the lot. But I could walk right up to the counter and get some help.

I can usually tell how serious my injuries are by how much I will use humour in my interview with the admin people, nurses and doctors in emergency. The more scared I am the more I will joke. It is a bizarre quirk. This morning I am full of one-liners when I am not bent over in pain. A couple of weeks ago when I had my RNY surgery there was no humour at all. It was all business and I had tons of confidence.

So now it was checking in and waiting. This was my fifth kidney stone feeling experience and as soon as I explained my symptoms to the doctor he said those magic words - "Well get you some morphine as soon as possible." After my RNY they gave me dilauted which is really cool if you want to sleep. Morphine makes me just not care about the pain in my side. Which was exactly what I needed. After three and a half hours of x-rays, blood tests, and waiting they sent me home with a handful of pills, a prescription and the news that this is either a kidney infection or kidney stones. The tests will tell and they will take some time.

So I went home, Marla drove because the nurse said I "looked really really stoned." I think she was right.

So now I am on the bench again. No excessive exercise until I see Dr. Amson on Wednesday. I am going to do some easy walks but it looks like I have to stay out of the gym for a while longer. Resting more is a good idea.

Pushing the limits

I shouldn't be pushing my limits. Everyone tells me "don't push your limits." This is rather difficult for me because I never played by the 'rules' before and it is a challenge to do so now. Let's start off with how am I feeling. I feel great. I am 16 days post surgery. My new stomach has taught me a few new rules - Don't drink too much water, don't eat too fast, don't eat too many carbs and especially Don't eat lettuce!
But this is all quite strange for me. All my research said "it took me six weeks before I could eat chicken" or "it took me months before I could handle an egg." I spent a while considering which would come first for me - the chicken or the egg. Frankly neither was an issue. I was eating poached eggs within four days of coming home from the hospital. I tried chicken just a few days ago and again - not a problem. This might be because I am not eating very much. One egg fills me for hours. A piece of chicken breast may be as only as large as a tablespoon.
I think the disadvantage of feeling good is that silly idea that I am invincible. I have to convince myself that going to exercise three times in one day is a bit excessive. And that it makes sense for me to rest.
Resting is important. It has taken me nearly three weeks to be able to just slow down, stop and rest. Yesterday Marla and I had to commit to not doing a whole day where we wouldn't do chores, no errands, just spending the day resting. Marla was a saint about the whole thing because she watched really bad super hero movies with me (which really weren't very good).
So what have I learned - I really picked up that I have to respect my limits because they are not just a set of rules handed down by doctors, dietitians, and experienced WLS'ers, but they are commandments that my body have set up to say "If you want to be healthy; don't screw around!"
On the other hand, I get very contrary guidance from my body. On one hand, or rather stomach, I cannot eat much. Yet, because I am not eating very much, my blood sugars are very low. I don't want to have more sugars but my doctors are telling me to use juices and carbs to get my levels higher. Advice from the forums and friends are going "no, stay away those empty calories and carbs." Everyone means well and everyone has their own story - I will just make this part of mine. But it comes down to this - I need the advice of everyone on the forums and those who help keep my best interests at heart. I also need to rely on the experience of my surgeon and specialists. So let us just take it all one day at a time, and keep moving forward towards an improved healthier me. Those are the only limits I need to push - the ones that make me a better me.

Food Focused

First the good news - it has been ten days since my surgery - I feel great and all is going well. Except for a little issue with some egg salad. I used to love egg salad but now apparently it doesn't like me. One spoonful in and my chest started to hurt, I felt like my throat was closing up, I got a headache, and basically felt like it was an instant dose of the flu. On the good side, I am down 10 pounds since I left the surgery.

But now the point of my writing, I have an interesting relationship with food. Prior to my surgery my mind was usually on what treat is next to eat. My day to day activities were focused on what did I just eat, what am I eating, and what can I eat next. Once I was on the waiting list I set about to changing my lifestyle so that food wasn't so important - it was essential fuel. But it also was an important of my daily schedule. Ya' gotta eat.

I thought that once I was done my surgery I was thinking that food would not have the same passionate value. It is true in one sense that is true because there is no way I could eat any of the junk that I had. But it is also false for now because I cannot eat very much and continually looking for a 'refueling' moment. And since I am now eating four or five times a day of good small meals, I look for more variety of healthy items. Also because I am still restricting my diet to soft food, I am getting really bored. A bored Blake means I could get in trouble.

Here I am thinking that food is going to be a solved issue but I realize it is not. It is just a challenge wrapped up with different package. I think it is like the other irrational weight loss surgery expectations that have happened. I am going to have to file it away with my hopes of having rock hard abs and having thick bushy hair. I am happy with reality and thankful for the process. And in the meantime, only another week of soft food.

I am invincible - my first post surgery check up

Its been a week and a day since my surgery so it was time to go see Dr. Amson for a check in. A quick call to the office showed that the doctor was running late. So we held off a bit and then trundled off to the office. I always like bumping into people I know when I am at the office. Today it was James. James is one of those guys I have known since my first days in WLS. I am really surprised that he has not had his surgery yet. He is among that nice group of people who truly deserve to be called upon.

So James and I had a nice chat - I was worried that I left Marla waiting while James and I caught up but she got into a very nice conversation with another patient so all was well. Then we were called in for the weigh in. I was 299 the day of the surgery and 291 today, so I am going down about a pound a day.

We waiting in an examining room for a while then the good doctor stuck his head in. He remembered Marla this time and quickly went to checking out my surgical incisions. They are all healing nicely. Then we reviewed how I was eating which is doing good. I am ready to move on to solid foods like chicken as long as the pieces are small and I chew a lot. We talked about how my surgery effects my diabetes and how it is time for me to start decreasing my insulin. This matches up with some advice Ron gave me. Thanks Ron.

Then I asked him about carbs in my diet. I am not ready to go back to my regime of peanut butter sandwiches and a half a loaf of bread for toast in the morning, but there has been so much discussion of Carbs vs No Carbs in the last while. He suggested if I want to try something - okay but only a very very small amount. I really am not all that concerned; except for it being okay to have a bit of oatmeal in the morning now and then.

My last question was the one that Marla was the most interested in Dr. Amson's response. I tell him that lately I am feeling invincible. I feel great and am ready to move on with some harder exercise. Marla has been wanting me to slow down all week - which is very understandable since I really did just have major surgery - and she really really wanted Dr. A to confirm her opinion. Unfortunately for Marla he said - "Yeah, your fine. Go ahead." I am not silly enough to go trying to lift a big household water bottle but I can see me doing it in a couple of days. Marla was not amused.

So he really doesn't need to see me for a couple of months but I do need to come back in a few weeks to process some papers for my medical coverage. On the way out we check with Ailsa to book the new appointment and much to my disappointment she is on Marla's side which is basically "no heavy lifting you big goof!" So for a while I will stick to feminine advice. Anybody want to come over and lift up a big water bottle for me?

The Call

I got a call today from Dr. Amson's office. I knew it was his office not just because of my special "Spidey-sense" but also because the phone's menu said who was calling. Oh my God, what do they want?"
Right from the very beginning we wait for the call. First of all it is the referral. Our GPs letter finally made it through to the surgeon's office and now they have selected me for an appointment next week. Well that would have been nice. Nope, they got the referral alright but the doctor is busy and won't be able to see me for three months. Well at least I got an appointment. A couple weeks later I get another call, it was the surgeon's office and they had a cancellation. Would I be able to go to it? Oh boy, sure. But that was followed shortly by another call asking "You don't mind if it is Sooke, do you?" I don't care, sure. But I am really beginning to wonder about their scheduling proceedure.
After that first meeting, I was told "we will call you when we have a date, but just keep coming in for your appointments."
The hard part about having appointments schedule four or five months apart is that there is always so many opportunities for things to change. Each one got changed somehow somewhere. And also, now that the staff got to know me, I was the one to call when they had a last minute change and needed to shove me somewhere. But I didn't complain. You can see the grief that the staff goes through once you have started spending some time in Dr. A's waiting room.
Then there was a shift. All my tests were done, Dr. A said "I was ready" and I would get that call when he had some surgery time. My time had arrived! Well no it didn't. It took another year or three more appointments before I got my date. In the meantime I would get a call from the Dr's office and I would be bouncing off the wall in anticipation - no - it was just to remind me that my appointment was next week. Sigh.
Finally Ailsa did call and it wasn't to change an appointment, or to get some more tests, this really was it. I got the call just before Dr. A went on holidays in July which meant I had over three months to brew about my date.
Earlier in September I did get another call. This one was asking me if I would consider giving up my date for another patient. I said I would leave the choice up to the surgeon. So my next call could be a good one or a bad one. I had no idea. But when I saw the office's ID on my phone, my heart goes up, I start to worry, take a deep breath and answer the phone.
Now I have had my surgery but I got a call today and the first thing I did was worry. I think we are trained to worry when we hear the phone ring.

Making Mistakes - all part of the process

I thought the road to recovery was paved with good intentions. Actually it is paved with mistakes, foibles, and errors in judgement. I am on day five of my recovery and unlike many people, I feel great! Maybe a little too great. I have a current feeling of an indestructible nature. Once I am fed, rested, and ready to go I can hustle about through my day. At least for two hours. Then it is imperative that I stop, rest, eat or just gather myself. For the last while I feel like I am living on a two hour a day installment plan.

Mistake #1 - Day 2 - Still in the hospital post recovery - Up and at 'em, ready to walk and off I go. I make yet another lap of the post surgery ward - everyone is asleep or gone and it is only 2pm. I discover the day surgery ward - this is where they checked me in, then off by the surgery halls to the cardiac unit - don't wanna go in there - then down the halls towards the elevator. I meet a guy who is 400 pounds checking in to see why he is having breathing and heart problems. In the hallway they have these staircases for people to rehab by going up and down stairs, so I try them out. I am really good at going up and aside from the slight pain in my side I am pretty bad at coming down. Then it hits me, whoa every ounce of energy is gone. Okay if I am going to make it back to the ward it is going to be slow and steady. It is a good thing there are a lot of chairs along the hallway. When I get back to my bed the nurses are ticked at me because they couldn't find me. Then they found out I was on the stairs and they were really upset, so I was 'benched' and not allowed out of the area for the rest of the day.

Mistake #2 - Day 4 - Oh what a beautiful morning - Marla is asleep - I get tired of playing fetch with the dog in the backyard and it is just too much. It is just too nice to stand and toss the ball. So I grabbed the dog's leash and we were off. I live on a fairly large block so it was off for an around the block stroll. I paced myself nicely and when I got to the soccer field Precious the Pub and I have a rest and watch the Sunday Morning players. Precious doesn't like soccer players too much. I could tell when she tried to run off and pulled hard on the leash. Okay, back to slow walking. Then Marla got miffed at me because I am apparently not supposed to walk nearly a kilometer four days out of the hospital

Mistake #3 - Day 3 - Better living through Chemistry - I am sure that it wasn't the long walk, or the trip to Costco, or going too long without eating but I was feeling crappy. So I had Tylenol 3's so I thought I should take them as directed for pain. The directions were to take one with yoghurt. But I am a dummy and remembered that it used to take three T3s before they would even kick in. So I dialed it back and popped two of the pills with some water. 20 minutes later I realized what a mistake that was. I felt really good. Outstandingly good. Lovingly good. I liked everybody. I was soooo relaxed and contented. And then I was hot, in a panic and realized I think I did something really stupid. I called a WLS friend and they explained how my new system isn't designed to take in as much caffeine that there is in Tylenol 3s. I really appreciate our network of help available.

So what am I learning through these mistakes. Well first of all I have to admit that there are so many mistakes available and I am allowed to make them. Oh my god I am not perfect. But honest, I am learning too. So until the next mistake...

VIHA Post Gastric Bypass Dietary Guidelines handout

here are pages from the handout that VIHA gave me on Post Gastric Bypass Dietary Guidelines. For some reason page 4 was blank so there is only five pages. Click on the page to enlarge it.

Blake's RNY Surgery - Part 3

On my second evening in the hospital Dr. Amson was in and checked on how I was doing. Which was pretty good. I had been up and walking around, I was in happy spirits, and feeling ready to go. He agreed and gave instructions to have my drain removed. If you have never had a drain before they are totally icky. It is basically a long thin tube that goes into the side of your chest just below the rib cage and attaches to some point way down inside of you. Outside of you is a continuation of the tube which leads to a bulb that is about the size of a tennis ball. The ball is scrunched down and forms a suction that will pull excess fluids out of you and into it as a storage chamber. This little ball that gets heavier as it is filled up is attached to your hospital gown and becomes your little buddy everywhere you go. All I had was this picture in my mind of my dog Precious who would see this ball reach up and grab it with her mouth. Precious loves balls and thinks every ball is something that she can play with. The nursing staff will drain the ball about twice a day and for some people they will teach you how to do this at home for yourself. I was so relieved when they said they would remove it on Thursday night.



GROSS ALERT *skip this paragraph if you get grossed out easy*

Removing the drain was likely the ickiest thing I did in my whole hospital stay. It starts by the nurses laying you on your side so that the line from the tube inside you is going upwards. They drain off the collection ball and cap the tube. Then they get you to think of something else while they slowly pull out the tube. I know you cannot feel the tube moving around inside of you but you can anticipate each centimeter of tubing and feel it as it is drawn out. Finally the plastic (or whatever it is made of) tubing comes out but there is still another 10 inches or so of this stuff that follows it. All in all there is about 24 inches of tubing and in my case another 1o inches of blood clot on the tube. A couple of steri-strips closes the wound and it is all over. It takes about 10 minutes and is, in my opinion, just plain icky.


GROSS ALERT OVER ****

At home I have this huge comfy bed with lots of quilts and pillows, an electric blanket, a warm spouse and the occasionally visiting big hairy dog who lays over my legs until she has had enough. At the hospital I had this uncomfortable plastic mattress that was set at a 30 degree tilt up, one ancient and flat pillow, a pad for under my hips, a blanket and a spot under a cooling vent. What is with the heating in post op recovery? I know they really care about their patients but it was so cold in there I am sure the hospital was trying to make us last longer like we were items on the shelf of a refrigerator. Brrr. I asked for more blankets and another pillow and tried sleeping again. Fortunately I remembered to ask if Dr. Amson would give me a sleeping pill. Nix on the sleeping drugs but I could have an Ativan. http://www.drugs.com/ativan.html.

I waited before taking the Ativan until we did all my blood sugar tests and was sort of sleepy enough to go to sleep. The pill does not make me sleeping but it does calm you down a lot. So soon I was fast asleep which lasted from about 10pm to 1:30am. Then I was wide awake. I knew I had to get some sleep so I tossed, turned and shivered the rest of the night until it was a reasonable time to wake up. About five thirty I woke up with this strange but familiar sensation. I had to have a bowel movement. NO WAY- Kerri told me she didn't have hers for five days and here I was less than 48 hours. But nope, my body has it own schedule and yes, the plumbing works!

I went back to sleep for a while longer. Even though Dr. Amson had everything ready for me to leave I couldn't go until Dr. Miller gave his a-ok. Dr. Amson came in at about 7am - My god that guy works long hours - but we didn't hear from Dr. Miller until 8am. But soon he was in and I was given the go-ahead to go home. My prescriptions for my diabetes had dropped from taking 9 metformin pills to only 3, my insulin requirements dropped from 100-160 units per night to 50 units. So there I was ready to go home. The nurses gave me my going away package from Dr. Amson (prescriptions for Tylenol 3 http://www.drugs.com/mtm/tylenol-with-codeine-3.html and another medication for an upset stomach. Included in the collection was some pages for Post Bariatric Guidelines. I will put them in my next post for you.

So here I was ready to go but I was not allowed to leave until I had my breakfast. Since we live about 20 minutes from the hospital I called Marla to come pick me up; then I waited for breakfast. And I waited. And Waited. Finally in about 25 minutes it arrived and I ate next to none of it. I was more anxious to get my stuff and go. Finally, I got out and found Marla and was ready to go home and start this new chapter of my life.

Blake's RNY Surgery - Part 2

So what can I say about my actual surgery. Well the guys wheeled me into the room and my first thought is 'wow this is much bigger than where I had my RNY." Then I looked around a bit, the anesthesiologist was there and introduced me to the people in the room. And there were lots of people. I lost count after nine of them. The put my guerny right up beside the operating table and got me to slide over onto the narrow narrow bed. I wasn't as concerned about it this time as I was when I had my gall bladder removed. Dr. Amson came in and said "Okay everybody, this is Blake and today he is going to have gastric surgery." Very cool I thought.

The anesthesiologist said "okay, lets get that line in. Now Blake your going to" ....... and I was out. From here on out I don't remember anything. I woke up in the recovery area momentarily. But then I was off to sleep. Finally I opened one eye an one of the angles of the recovery room were there. Her name name is Sarah and she was one of the four wonderful ladies who took care of me. I also had Maureen, Andrea, Charlene (from before) and Sarah not to mention all their colleagues who were nothing but nice to me.

The next time I work up it was to Sarah saying "I'm going to poke you now - Little poke" and then jabbed me with a needle of dilaudid http://www.rxlist.com/dilaudid-drug.htm. I am not a big fan of Dilaudid when it comes to drugs. It does have the kick of a mule punch that absolutely takes away any pain. But there is no good 'trip' with the drug. I used to get the best dreams on morphine when I was having kidney stones. So all I got to do was sleep which in this case was just the thing I needed.

I think everyone is trained to say "I'm just going to poke you now - Little poke." I got that each time they tested my blood sugar (4 times a day), Heprin (1 a day), Dilaudid (at least six times). A note about the Dilaudid - it is not so bad going in but about half way through the dose it burns a bunch, and then you fall asleep.

The best wake up was when I looked up from my bed and there was Marla. Marla has been my biggest supporter throughout this process. She has been a joy to have around and just lights up my day when I see her. She, apparently, likes me under the influence of strong chemicals. I would wake up "Hi hon, I love you. I missed you. How long have I been asleep? That long? Oh Hi hon, I love you. I missed you. How long have I been asleep? That long? I missed you." She like the attention and apparently I am more futzer when I am not drugged.

But there I was, bright and awake. It has only been about seven hours since I had my operation and I wanted to do a walk. My first walk was around the ward area. In the recovery area there are about 16 paddock stalls that hold surgery patients. I noticed there were even a couple of bariatric beds in there for wider patients. I walked about and talked to a few of the people who were awake and approachable. There were some really nice people there. The lady next to me was also a Dr. Amson patient as well. We had a good time comparing notes about him.

I finally settled down and watched a couple tv shows on my PSP and iPhone. I learned from my last hospital stay that it is imperative that any entertainment lasts only 20 or 25 minutes. Any thing you read must have large text or lots of pictures. The worst thing I did was watch a comedy special by John Pinette. His bit about diets and juicing just about killed me. http://youtu.be/WLdNTMa1xZA It is very hard to laugh a lot when your stomach has been sewn down to one eighth its normal size.

Another Shot in the arm and I was ready to call it a night. It was amazing how quiet the room was. I remember Kerri telling me to take ear plugs and I couldn't find mine but it turned out there were no problems. Nobody snored except me. :)

Blake's Pre-op waiting for surgery part 1

Surgery day - Part one
The alarm went off at 5am but it didn't have to. I have been up for ten minutes already because there is no way I am going to miss this date. I did the second surgical scrubbed down, have performed this procedure only four hours ago before I went to bed. Thoroughly scrubbed from head to foot I got up and made Marla some morning coffee. I checked my two bags I was taking with me to the hospital. I knew already that I was staying two days and it may likely be three according to Dr. Miller my endocrinologist. So I had one little bag packed for the surgery day - it contained - my glasses, toothbrush and paste, comb, deoderent, and other little knick knacks one would pack for a flight nowadays. I also had my iPhone, an iPhone charger, and a note pad with a couple of pens. The second bag was one for the remaining days - it had my PSP, a collection of movies, a magazine or two, a housecoat, a clean t-shirt, and a pair of slippers.

I figured it best to keep both bags in the car and we took off for the hospital. We were supposed to be there at about 6:45am and we arrived at 6:43. That was a good sign. We parked in front of the hospital and found they had everything all ready for us. Day Surgery on the Royal Jubilee Hospital is located on the third floor of hospital. We passed all the scarey places like the heart clinic and such and got down to the end of the hall where surgery is located. We were welcomed at the counter when the host gave Marla a piece of paper with the phone number on it and the time that they could expect my surgery to be complete and I would be waking up. Then they told us to kiss goodbye and shoo-ed Marla off.

I was instructed to remove all my clothing and put on two industrial size hospital gowns. The first that ties to your back leaving my best side exposed to the world. The other tarp with arm holes and strings went on like a housecoat. I put on a paper slippers which was a challenge to figure out not only inside and out but front and back as well. Then we put all my belongings in a big blue laundry hamper bag and locked them in to locker number one. Of course now that I was all changed and bundled up I had to pee.

So before I was directed to my pre-op surgery bed, I had to detour to the scale. When I first started this voyage I wanted to get my pre-op surgery weight down to 300. I had started at 339 in 2008 and since then I have dropped down. Then last week we spent some holiday time in Tofino and when I weighed myself on Dr. Amson's scale on Monday my poundage went up to 305. So after two days of liquid diet and the great purge before the surgery, my weight went down to 299.5 I know it sounds a little like cheating but really I didn't set up any of the parameters to how I wanted to get below 300.

The staff, lead by a real sweetie nurse, Charlene, got me all settled down. First of all they had to check my blood, they forgot the test to see how long it takes to clot so they needed to do a second draw. They also checked to cross type my blood to make sure that they had some spare on hand. I had a visit from the anesthesiologist who was a really nice guy. He checked my mouth, teeth and throat, reviewed my allergies and what happened when I had my gall bladder out. He had a big binder all about me and reviewed it with me. Dr. Amson passed my bed to say hi and that he was glad we were able to get me done. I had this great feeling like my time has come. Charlene tried to put in an IV port but couldn't find a good line and they only get one try. But that's okay - she said "they would do it in the operating room."

Soon she handed me off to a couple of guys in the pre-op waiting area. This is where you go when you are just about to head into the surgery. I was happy to go there because I was the last one left in the pre-op prep area. They asked me all the same questions that Charlene did, gave me a shot of heprin http://www.rxlist.com/heparin-drug.htm, and got ready to push me to the surgery room. Then they noticed that I didn't have my IV line in and said "they would do it in the operating room."

So off the guys pushed me down the hallway. Along the way we bumped into Dr. Amson checking his email. For anyone who hasn't met Dr. Amson, he is a thin rail of a tall person and could definitely use a little poundage on him. So there it was early in the morning and he was noshing on a big doughnut. He's allowed, but the two porters and I chucked about the irony of it as we moved into the operating room

My last meal before surgery

Okay, so this day has finally arrived. It was my last lunch with the body I was given. Wednesday will be my surgery but prior to that I have to stop eating solid food almost a whole day. My surgery will be first thing in the morning so my last meal was going to be lunch on Tuesday. There really only was one choice in my mind. Marla and I went to the Japanese Village.

We used to go to the Japanese Village back when we first started dating in 1974 when we lived in Calgary. In 1975 we first came to Victoria when the Village was new out here. We have had romantic suppers and quick lunches there through every transition of our lives together. This was one more transition.

This was also one of those places where I could pack the food away. When Marla and I first started going to the Japanese Village, we were the only ones who would have Sesame Sauce on our rice. Now it is common practice. And I was quite proud that I could knock back four bowls. The gluttony of my life was amazing. As a reminder to me, here is the recipe and nutritional analysis for Japanese Village Sesame Steak Sauce. http://caloriecount.about.com/japanese-village-steak-sauce-recipe-r76175.

But on the other end of the scale, I only had one bowl of rice, I didn't clean my plate, I ate (oh my god) almost like a normal person. It was a great meal; we were filled with good food and wonderful conversation. We didn't really make much of this being my last meal with my big tummy. Actually just looking at what was on the table we will be able to return here again. Maybe not for a while, but someday. There is good protein here, nice veggies, maybe a little rice and that wonderful sauce. I keep mentioning to people that it's not food it is only fuel. And I do feel that way, but in this case, some fuels are better than others. So this is a meal I will remember for all the right reasons.

Some good friends aren't so good

Three days and counting. It is all getting closer. I have a huge sense of loss; of saying goodbye to a dear old friend. Most likely the kind of friend who would invite you out and you would spend the evening womanizing, drinking bad booze, stealing a car and getting into a fight. I guess it is all in the company you keep. My buddy definitely lived in the refrigerator. I am meeting him a lot lately as I take this time to prepare the house. I am cleaning out the fridge and discovering treasures like the stash of chocolate bars or the little treats I kept there just waiting for me to snack. Another of my not-so-good friends live in the cupboard. They are up there with the healthy snacks I didn't eat - Rice Cake has an undetermined lifespan. The bags of chips and jars of pretzels lay in wait to become a half-time snack.
I am clearing them all out, tossing them away in the trash. Oh, I have done this before. Just about every diet I have ever tried involved getting rid of my treasure trove of junk food. This time does feel different. I know that without facing this demon and dealing with the urge to snack and replace my emotions with food and treats.
Something that is different is my change of attitude about treats and food rewards. Thanks to Jan Klitz, the WLS nutritionist, I have learned that food is fuel. It is important to find alternate rewards. I also learned that food has a value. Junk food is junk. That mindset has helped me stop eating many of the foods that used to be my friends.
So here it is - three days to my surgery. I am very excited and quite optimistic in what is to come. I am very glad for the support and encouragement I have have received from my friends and colleagues. I don't see this as a miracle cure - it is simply the start of a new life for me.

Walking, Walking, Waliking

At my first meeting with Dr. Amson, he gave me the marathon speech. The one that says his patients will lose their weight and be out running marathons and races. I really didn't believe him. First of all I never pictured myself capable of running mile after mile for no reason aside from completing and competing in a race. Of course I could see myself running away from something that fast but that is another story from a wicked past.
Second, I could not picture myself lumbering along again with my 340 pounds of weight crushing down on my knees. No Way!
So I found myself going for walks. I am part of a group of guys who go walking each Saturday morning and every Tuesday evening. It started off doing a short walk that eventually worked its way up to about five kilometers. It takes me about an hour and it is not really all that taxing. That is except to say for one hill at the Cedar Hill Rec center that is steep and seems to go on forever.
So Christopher and I are regulars on the trail. I couldn't have kept up with my exercises if it were not for my friend Christopher. If I feel like skipping a day I cannot because I know he is there waiting and I provide the same service to him.
My wife too is very supportive of my exercise and even joins me on my thursday nights workout. It is honestly humbling to know I have these people in my corner.
But back to the walks. After I first met Dr. Amson, I wanted to believe everything he said. But rather than run I chose to walk. My first walk was the Times Colonist 10K. It took me over two hours and fifteen minutes but I made it through. Part of the inspiration while I was on the walk was that there were many people who I knew from the weight loss community also walking. It is really a pick me up to see friendly faces along the way. And so many other faces too. People I don't know are cheering me along the way and lots of music and celebration going on. It is an excellent way to spend a morning.
Since my first meeting with Dr. Amson I have walked in three Times-Colonist 10k's, two Goodlife 8k's, three CIBC Runs for the Cure, not to mention over 100 Saturday and 100 Tuesday 5k walks. I have actually enjoyed my walks and with the prospects of being healthier and smaller, running in some of those runs. Maybe I could work up to a half-marathon. But Marathon runners are still crazy.

meeting the anesthetist - the last presurgery appointment

Pizza and I no longer get along. I mention this because I was told before meeting the anesthetist that I would need to fast for 10 hours. Last time I had pizza my blood sugars soared to the mid 20s. So with surgery so close and a threat from Dr. Miller my endochrinologist, threatened that if my surgars are above 8.3 no go. So here I was at work, my last meal before the fast and the only thing they are serving is pizza. I pick a small slice with lots of meat and skip the crust. So the rest of the night goes really good, except my team lose the hockey game, but all is good. Most of all I am not hungry which is really good.

This is supposed to be my last appointment before my surgery in 12 days. So I gather up my Dr. Amson bag and get it ready for my 9am morning appointment. For anyone who hasn't read my reports before, my Dr. Amson bag is designed for waiting in the doctor's office for hours on end. It contains a laptop, digital movies and tv shows, all my bloodwork for the past four years, all my weigh in's at Dr. Amson's office, my list of questions from each time I visit the doctor and my gameboy. So I am ready for hanging out at the RJH.

Parking sucks at the RJH. It has to be the worst hospital parking lot. But not a lot of options and Marla and I drive up to the top level. At least now there is a better short cut through the patient center and over to the check in. A little volunteer took us over to Clinic 1 and got us settled. In a few minutes we were checked in, all the paperwork was signed, and they me into a cubical to take 8 vials of blood for a Chem7 panel. http://surgery.about.com/od/beforesurgery/qt/BloodChemistry.htm

From there I met with the anesthetist - who was a really nice guy but I forgot his name as soon as he told me. I didn't even have time to write it down. We talked about my exercise plan and my daily diet. We talked about hockey. He told us a story about how when his dad was a doctor in Prince George that he would be paid for delivering a baby by receiving a bag of flour from the parents equal to the doctor's fee. Then we got back to talking about me. He told me that in my kind of cases, and likely all obesity cases, they are most concerned about getting tubes and such down the throat. The accomplish this by using a small camera to guide their way. Then we asked the big question which was "Why did I have trouble starting breathing after my last surgery?"

His response was to go to the records of my 2009 surgery and discovered that I didn't have trouble starting breathing just that I was not getting enough air. All they had to do was increase my oxygen for a bit longer. That wasn't what they told my wife back then and that was part of the reason she was freaking out over this operation. However, he did mention that they made many notes about the duration and volume of my snoring while I was in post surgical recovery.

He went on to talk about my fitness level. Because I walk and work out so much he said that I was in good shape and ready for the surgery. According to him I am a 'fit-fat guy', which is a good thing in my books.

So all I have to do now is not take my morning diabetes pills on the day of the operation, and come in ready for my surgery. And with that he sent me off for the next test. I liked it - I was sleepy still because I got up extra early to come in for my appointment and I didn't sleep so well anyways. So for the next test I got to lie on a bed while they did an ECG to check out my heart. I nearly fell asleep which they said was a good thing.

And then they sent me to Xray. I get Xrays every couple of years because of my early work in theater's filled with asbestos so this really wasn't any different. The cool part now was that the tech had some time to show me the Xray. So I got to look at my chest which is basically like a Halloween skeleton with a big cotton ball inside it. But it was cool except he wasn't able to give me a copy of the images for my facebook pictures.

Two and a half hours later we were done and it was time to go home. By now I was really hungry and Marla was even more famished so we took off to Denny's. Denny's has one of the worst meals I could have - a chicken fried steak sandwich - but I am saying good bye to meals that have done the damage to me. And it really wasn't that good.

Tonight I bumped into Dr. Amson at the hockey game and we had a chance to talk about getting ready for my surgery. It was really nice to get some encouragement from him and I got him to commit to going on the Times-Colonist 10k in May. He told me that he could see me losing about 80 pounds by the time the TC10K happens - I can't picture that but it is a nice vision.

Two weeks to surgery day

Each day is like a series of lasts. My last monday at work. My last staff meeting. My last luncheon at Interurban. Tonight was my last Chinese supper. Sherrie runs the Chinese restaurant where we are regulars. She knows our order before we walk into the door. We will return to Halibut House Fish and Chips and Chinese Food but next time it will be different.

I am looking forward to life after surgery but realistically thinking that this RNY is not going to be the magic pill that I always wanted it to be. I am still going to have to watch what I eat, exercise, and endeavor to live a healthy lifestyle. We then why the hell am I having this Surgery? For me the main reason is that it is plain that I cannot do this myself or I would have done it ages ago.

So it is two weeks from today and I feel great. Does that mean I don't really need my surgery? Well I feel really good but I am still about 305 pounds. That is about 110 pounds more than I should be. But I feel fine. Fine except that my chest is always sore. I feel, as I tell everyone "excellent" but I don't tell them that I am taking twice the amount of insulin that I am supposed to just to keep my levels low enough so that I will qualify for my surgery. I guess despite how I feel I really do need this surgery.

I am getting all prepared for life after surgery. Today I ordered my vitamins from SVCCanada. Over $100 in vitamins gave me free shipping and so after a little comparison it was a good deal.
I am looking forward only taking a few pills and drops compared to the ten I am taking each day for diabetes and to counter the effect of the diabetes pills.

Soon I will be counting down in single digits. Time to stop taking aspirins, switch more of my meals to a liquid based diet, and get ready for my surgery. This is starting to become very real.

The difference between being scared and being nervous

I am seventeen days away from my surgery. I have moments of being afraid of what I am committing to and moments of total confidence. For the last while it has been outrageously afraid and scared. I have no intention of chickening out or running away from the situation. In truth, that is the part I am the most prepared for along this journey. I know that two days before the surgery I will begin the process with a rather embarrassing and uncomfortable clean up procedure, then after a day of new eating, I will go into a hospital where my orginal parts will be rearranged for what they came as into a whole new plumbing system. Then after a few days of managed pain, I will come home and start a long recovery.

This part is okay. What concerns me is how my life is going to change after surgery. Actually that's wrong. I think what is scaring me is that I could fail. I am not planning to fail, in actuality I plan to succeed and make the most of this gift. My track record at weight loss is not that good. OA, Weight Watchers, Counseling, all led down the same path. I would lose a bit and gain some more. The same goes for exercise, I walked miles, swam many kilometers, and even organized my own fitness group. I worked hard, sweated, and actually felt pretty good. But still I kept on growing and gaining.

So now here I am dealing with the aspect that I might fail and that is being resolved with the best way that I know - I am eating more than I should. Well I did for about 24 hours. I could identify with the help of the forums and Facebook that I was going through a natural nervous hungry. And so now I know the difference between being scared and being nervous.

Being Scared is when you don't understand or know why you are reacting to a situation. Being nervous is knowing what is coming and actually being prepared for it.

oops ten days gone - just like that.

Wow, 10 days just zipped by and I am way behind in my blogging. Not much has happened since I last saw Dr. Amson. Everything is moving forward and getting closer. I am busy with work although I am basically useless there. My mind is not on work at all and I am easily distracted.
We had an absolutely wonderful family reunion and uncle Bill's Birthday party over in WhiteRock, and a delightful stay at the RiverRock.

So work has been busy and home has been busy, I have been feeling really good then all of a sudden tonight I felt different.

Uh, I am not sure what is going on here but I am starved. I mean tonight I am really really hungry. I am three weeks away from my RNY and over all have been eating properly. That is to say with exceptions of occasional meal photos that I post on facebook but don't eat them all, they just look pretty. I have no interest in food until about four o'clock and then grrrrrr. I can see all my bad habits just trying to bite me on the bum.

I am trying all my tricks not to eat, keep busy, avoid the fridge, get moving, but it is all being very difficult. There is one thing that I am wondering about - could it be that I am finally getting scared of having the surgery? I don't really get all that stressed and I am extremely confident that the surgery is the right choice. But this hunger feels like a reaction. Does that make sense?

my Sept 13 appointment with Dr. Amson

Well here it is, my last visit with Dr. Amson before my surgery. So my appointment time was for 4pm, at 3:30pm I called and checked on how far behind they were – not so bad only 90 minutes. So Marla and I showed up for 5:15 and did what you usually do in Dr. A's office – wait. There wasn't a lot of people there and by 6pm we got in. I was really glad that my wife Marla came with me – for probably only the second time since I have been seeing Dr. Amson I was nervous.

So we did the weigh in – I gained since last time but I am still way down. I still am going to try to get below 300 in the next 30 days. Then we waited a few minutes for Dr. A to find us. It is strange being the last one in the office, especially when Dr. A doesn't know which examining room you are in. He found us and invited us into his office.

I don't get nervous speaking in public but Marla said that I was nattering about a mile a minute. He was funny because he was complaining about gaining weight on his summer holiday. The man is a toothpick even with five extra pounds. We chatted about some people we knew who had trouble after their surgeries and a few who were very successful. He laid out that the way to succeed with this tool was to get moving and exercise. He said he expected me to be up and walking at least 30 minutes a day four days after the surgery. And that all that exercise must increase; exercise is paramount to keeping the weight off. Then he told me about gaining weight over his summer holidays again.

Then we chatted a bit about some of his recent successes (Yay Megan and Kerri) and about all the blogs and action on facebook. There is a lot of information out there. Then compared notes about hockey games and going to the symphony. Hockey usually wins.

So the next time I see Dr. A I will be laying on a gurney in a hallway somewhere. Looking up at him isn't new, I had that view before he fixed my gallbladder. So I am confident in his skill and abilities. Marla felt that same way too. Now all I have to do is see the anesthesiologist, clean up the system inside and out, and I am ready to go.

One month countdown

Well it is one month from today that I will be having my RNY surgery. I am starting to feel a little excitement in the air and there is a reality checking in. So far all feels good. This weekend I started preparing some bariatic meals to have frozen and on hand for after the surgery. First of all it was some chili that I froze into little ice cubes. Tonight I will brew us some consume cubes. Basically I plan to work my way up the soup scale.
Speaking of scales, I have had a hungering for fish. Doesn't matter what kind, if it swam or floated I want it. I had a gross indulgence on the weekend when I made Marla and me some crumble. One of my best batches in a while. Next time I am going to try it with sugar free brown sugar just as a comparison.

This afternoon I am off to see Dr. Amson, so look for a part two to this posting.

Pre-op and Foodies

Well I am 34 days away from my surgery, I have a counter on my WLS Journey web page, so it is starting to feel real. It got another step closer today since I had my pre-op with my GP. She said I was okay for surgery - wahoo. Only two issues that were of concern: 1) my breathing is not so good (mostly because I am obese) and 2) last time I had surgery I had trouble starting to breath again after the surgery was over. This second part is of concern because the way it was put was that I had trouble starting to breath which means I actually stopped breathing. In my world not breathing is dead and I would rather that not happen.

I only got that information second hand so we will find out more at my appointment with the anesthesiologist in a couple of weeks. I was a little coked that my weight went up a little from 303 to 305. I think that is mostly because I am going through a whole bunch of 'last supper syndrome'. It is like every time I look at a meal I am thinking "oh, this is the last time I will be having this particular dish". Only trouble with that is that I have changed my eating so much that most of the meals don't really agree with me. Bummer, I used to like creamy things, now it is 'oh well, not needed'.

I have a really big mouth when it comes to telling people about my surgery. But now that we are getting closer I told two of my foodie friends. First was the head chef at the College's Culinary Arts program. If ever you see some of my Wednesday facebook pictures of lunch, he is responsible for the plates. So I told him that I was having my surgery and what it entailed and he is going to help me by guiding me through how to pick appropriate restaurant based meals. The second person owns our favourite Chinese food restaurant Halibut House (I know, dumb name) but great food. Sheri is going to make me a bariatric friendly Chinese food dish.

I was just so happy to get the support of my friends and colleagues who know nothing about WLS surgery.

Back on Schedule

Well Dr. Amson's office called and told me that my surgery is back on.  Thanks to all of those involved.  As I mentioned in my video http://youtu.be/DMVSMi_zQLk it is sure interesting to see how invested one can really be in this process.  Today I am five weeks away from my surgery date.  My friend Kerri had her surgery on Monday so I am keeping a watchful eye on all the things she has gone through.  Ear plugs for the hospital sounds like a very good idea. 
My eating has been much better lately.  Today is my interurban day which means a really good meal.  But I left half of it on the plate, only eating the protien first and then I went for the veggies.  At least it is a start.
One of my biggest thrills for this week is that my fitness class on thursday night is full.  That is at least fifteen people for My Large Friends.  Hopefully that means we will have seven when it comes to the end of October.  This afternoon I am off to Dr. Rosenthal for my pre-op and my surgical pre-op with Amson is next monday.  Things are definately getting closer.

I am not really grumpy in this picture, it is just that I couldn't focus.

Excuse me but....

So this was interesting. Friday was my day off and Marla and I were doing the 'let's stay home and get business done' thing. We were at the bank renewing our mortgage when I got a call from Dr. Amson's office. They asked me if I would be willing to give up my October 19th surgery. My immediate reaction is to say no. But I also thought the situation deserved some thought and reflection.
I think in the long run it comes down to this: I need the surgery to save my life. I was chosen by Dr. Amson four months ago off of a list of eligible patients. He had his reasons. Of course it is his option to choose someone else as that is his job. But the reasons must be something that he can live with. Hopefully it is for all the right reasons. If it were to save the life of a patient with cancer or some other disease it would be very ease to understand a postponement or cancellation.
So now the ball is in Dr. Amson's court. We shall see what happens in the next couple of weeks.

Schools Back!

Well here it is the first day of the new school year.  Things started up pretty good - the AV team sprang into action and all was well.  I was feeling pretty good.  I didn't have much for breakfast - just a protein shake.  It was free lunch day at the College so I had a good hot dog and a few cobs of corn.  I couldn't resist some sour cream and onion chips but they were a bit like Greek Food - after I had them I really didn't want them. 

I made us a very good supper - BBQ pork chop, with corn, potatoes and gravy but all on a little teenie weenie plate.  Then Chris and I did our walk around the golf course.  It is an absolutely beautiful night out tonight.

I was reading tonight about some more foods that are difficult to eat after surgery.  I was surprised that Chicken Breasts were on the may be bad for you list.  I can see where a lot of this is learning a bariatric lifestyle but eventually I will get it.

Labour Day

So yesterday Marla and I went out for an evening stroll about downtown Victoria.  After parking in our usual spot we slipped our way down the alley and out to the inner harbour.  We stopped for something to eat at a sidewalk cafe at Darcy's pub.  In honour of the RoughRiders winning their first game in seven we wore our Saskatchewan Rider Jerseys.  It was weird because there was another couple also in Rider gear.  Go riders.  We had a great supper.  Marla and I shared a steak salad and she had most of the beer we ordered.  It was a really good supper.  We met a really interesting Dad and Daughter team from Seattle.  They were kind of cool.

Marla and I spent the day at home, cleaning up and goofing off.  Comfy bum is rampant about our little house.  Still we did get a bunch of stuff done, you just can't see it as well.  I started this long weekend trying to edit a video for work.  I finally got it to work by 10:30pm Monday night.

The Fat Man's Prayer

Today, being Sunday, is deserving of a prayer. So I have found one by the great villain and comedian Victor Buono. If you lived in the sixties you would know who he was. So here is one of his best poems - the Fat Man's Prayer.

Lord, My soul is ripped with riot
incited by my wicked diet.
"We Are What We Eat," said a wise old man!
and, Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can.

I want to rise on Judgment Day, that's plain!
But at my present weight, I'll need a crane.
So grant me strength, that I may not fall
into the clutches of cholesterol.

May my flesh with carrot-curls be sated,
that my soul may be polyunsaturated
And show me the light, that I may bear witness
to the President's Council on Physical Fitness.

And at oleomargarine I'll never mutter,
for the road to Hell is spread with butter.
And cream is cursed; and cake is awful;
and Satan is hiding in every waffle.

Mephistopheles lurks in provolone;
the Devil is in each slice of baloney,
Beelzebub is a chocolate drop,
and Lucifer is a lollipop.

Give me this day my daily slice
but, cut it thin and toast it twice.
I beg upon my dimpled knees,
deliver me from jujubees.

And when my days of trial are done,
and my war with malted milk is won,
Let me stand with the Saints in Heaven
In a shining robe--size 37.

I can do it Lord, If You'll show to me,
the virtues of lettuce and celery.
If You'll teach me the evil of mayonnaise,
of pasta a la Milannaise
potatoes a la Lyonnaise
and crisp-fried chicken from the South.

Lord, if you love me, shut my mouth.

~ By Victor Buono ~

 

There are three sure signs that summer is almost over: first there is the Fringe.  I keep meaning to go to the fringe shows but somehow they keep slipping by.  The second sign is the Saanich Fair comes around with its critters, home preserves, crafters and kids.  Finally the third sign that summer is ending is that Greek Fest calls with its cultural exposition.  And of course, its wonderful food.  Marla and I went up today for lunch.  It was an excellent time in the sunshine having lamb, gyros, and beer.  We also had some waaay to sweet bakalava and lukemenoes (little Greek donuts).  We couldn't finish them, we shared them with some other people at the table.


In the morning, I had a great walk with Christopher and Precious.  Then I was off to my last WLS meeting before my surgery.  Everyone was so great and I got lots of good advice.  Marla and I spent the evening busy with housecleaning and having a great night.  I got a little too hot but hey, its the end of summer, it should be hot outside.

ow, ow, ow

Last night was the last of our summer workouts.  It has been great working out at the gym each thursday with Chris, Marla and Gord.  Megan, our trainer, did an excellent job and I think I am a bit stronger and more flexible.  I should really do strength and flexibility more often.  But boy am I ever stiff today.  There is a lot of ow, ow, ow going on as I move about.

I went to my dr. on wednesday and weight myself - 303.5.  I am totally stuck at 303 and it is annoying.  But I guess the point is to hang in there and keep on trying.  My blood pressure and Ha1C is really good for me (7.1)  Gillian went through her records and said that my lowest blood sugar was 4.7 way back in 1983.

It has been a fun week at work this week because I have been doing a bunch of tech work.  Today I was soldering and it went really well.  Yesterday I was teaching and running interference.

A long weekend coming up, I am looking forward to it.  It is going to busy because there will be the Greek Festival, Saanich Fair, the Labour Day Classic, a WLS Forum Group (my last before surgery), and just general goofing off.

Well here I am catching up again.  For the past couple of days I have been teaching quite a few introductory sessions at work.  Its been very enjoyable.   I like this time of year.  Everyone is coming back to school fresh and ready for the semester.  I am having a bit of trouble knowing that I will only be here for about five or six weeks of the semester before it is time for me to take off for my surgery.  So all in all it is pretty exciting.

I am only seven weeks away from my surgery.  I recorded another video last night for my video blog, you can see it at Blake's week seven blog.  It was also fun to go out and take some night time pictures of BC's Parliament buildings.

We went out for Chinese food tonight at our favourite Chinese Restaurant the Halibut House in Saanich.  Sheri does such a good job and she looks out for us.   She was telling us tonight how she is going to develop a bariatric menu for me.  She is ademant that there are lots of bariatric friendly Chinese dishes.  I think I may have to teach her a bit about proteins.  But I am so happy she is going to try. 
I am really sore tonight from my walk yesterday.  So I am relaxing a bit.  On the other side of the coin, yesterday Marla and I bought a fireplace insert for our living room fireplace.  I am looking forward to a warmer room this winter.

Summer is almost over

Only one week of summer left and although this is not the official end of summer it has the signs. Next week Greek Fest begins, yesterday the Fringe started, and school is ready to go. I am not taking a UVic course this fall so it will be an interesting break. I do want take a course in the winter session but this time I have other stuff on my mind.
I think I will have enough people for "My Large Friends" to go but it won't be a big group. Interesting discussions happening on the WLS forum - I haven't seen that in a while.
this morning precious and I had a great walk this morning. But the best part of the day was goofing off with Marla.

a scary feeling

I met a fellow today who hand an RNY four years ago. He was really big and lost a whole lot of weight, I am talking hundreds of pounds. I hadn't see him in a while and bumped into him again today. It was a little scary because he had gained back a whole bunch of his weight. I am scared because this could happen to me. I hope to think it wouldn't because I remain active and changed my life style and my eating.

I feel positive about about my surgery and some fears are natural. That sounds like a flakey affirmation. but I will ride with it for now.

Weight is still the same at 303 I sure would like it to be below 30o for the surgery in 55 days.

last week zoomed by

Last week we were in Regina for Marla Mom's funeral. It was a very nice time with lots of family, friends, and a little sadness. We had a good flight to Regina via Kelowna and Edmonton on WestJet. They are not as fun as they used to be. We rented a car from Budget and stayed at the Regina Ramada. It wasn't as bad as the Chateau Regina but not as nice as the RiverRock either. However I would stay there again.
From a weight loss point of view this was my first chance to explain to my mom and sister what the RNY Surgery is and what will happen to me. They were very supportive. So were my friends Bob and Karen. That was a very positive feeling. Marla is very worried about the surgery but she is putting on a brave front for me.
Our flight back was a bit of a mare because our plane got grounded and we had to wait six hours for another flight. But we made it home and all is well.

70 days from today

it is only 10 weeks until my surgery. I was having real issues with my blood sugars over the last couple of weeks. Dr. Miller (Boots) says I can't have my surgery if my blood sugars is over 8.3 Well here I am running with a 9.3 average and it was scaring the hell out of me. So I called his office and his secretary (Roberta) says to send him my list of numbers. After a review he said because most of my numbers were under 9 that I shouldn't worry about it. I am still a little worried. It is amazing how pasta can mess things up.

I took marla out for pasta yesterday to Macaronni Grill. It was okay but they were supposed to bring me a half order and brought a whole one instead. and here I was trying to be cheap.

Spend a very nice afternoon with Marla. Most of the details now have been set for the Regina trip.