Food Focused

First the good news - it has been ten days since my surgery - I feel great and all is going well. Except for a little issue with some egg salad. I used to love egg salad but now apparently it doesn't like me. One spoonful in and my chest started to hurt, I felt like my throat was closing up, I got a headache, and basically felt like it was an instant dose of the flu. On the good side, I am down 10 pounds since I left the surgery.

But now the point of my writing, I have an interesting relationship with food. Prior to my surgery my mind was usually on what treat is next to eat. My day to day activities were focused on what did I just eat, what am I eating, and what can I eat next. Once I was on the waiting list I set about to changing my lifestyle so that food wasn't so important - it was essential fuel. But it also was an important of my daily schedule. Ya' gotta eat.

I thought that once I was done my surgery I was thinking that food would not have the same passionate value. It is true in one sense that is true because there is no way I could eat any of the junk that I had. But it is also false for now because I cannot eat very much and continually looking for a 'refueling' moment. And since I am now eating four or five times a day of good small meals, I look for more variety of healthy items. Also because I am still restricting my diet to soft food, I am getting really bored. A bored Blake means I could get in trouble.

Here I am thinking that food is going to be a solved issue but I realize it is not. It is just a challenge wrapped up with different package. I think it is like the other irrational weight loss surgery expectations that have happened. I am going to have to file it away with my hopes of having rock hard abs and having thick bushy hair. I am happy with reality and thankful for the process. And in the meantime, only another week of soft food.

I am invincible - my first post surgery check up

Its been a week and a day since my surgery so it was time to go see Dr. Amson for a check in. A quick call to the office showed that the doctor was running late. So we held off a bit and then trundled off to the office. I always like bumping into people I know when I am at the office. Today it was James. James is one of those guys I have known since my first days in WLS. I am really surprised that he has not had his surgery yet. He is among that nice group of people who truly deserve to be called upon.

So James and I had a nice chat - I was worried that I left Marla waiting while James and I caught up but she got into a very nice conversation with another patient so all was well. Then we were called in for the weigh in. I was 299 the day of the surgery and 291 today, so I am going down about a pound a day.

We waiting in an examining room for a while then the good doctor stuck his head in. He remembered Marla this time and quickly went to checking out my surgical incisions. They are all healing nicely. Then we reviewed how I was eating which is doing good. I am ready to move on to solid foods like chicken as long as the pieces are small and I chew a lot. We talked about how my surgery effects my diabetes and how it is time for me to start decreasing my insulin. This matches up with some advice Ron gave me. Thanks Ron.

Then I asked him about carbs in my diet. I am not ready to go back to my regime of peanut butter sandwiches and a half a loaf of bread for toast in the morning, but there has been so much discussion of Carbs vs No Carbs in the last while. He suggested if I want to try something - okay but only a very very small amount. I really am not all that concerned; except for it being okay to have a bit of oatmeal in the morning now and then.

My last question was the one that Marla was the most interested in Dr. Amson's response. I tell him that lately I am feeling invincible. I feel great and am ready to move on with some harder exercise. Marla has been wanting me to slow down all week - which is very understandable since I really did just have major surgery - and she really really wanted Dr. A to confirm her opinion. Unfortunately for Marla he said - "Yeah, your fine. Go ahead." I am not silly enough to go trying to lift a big household water bottle but I can see me doing it in a couple of days. Marla was not amused.

So he really doesn't need to see me for a couple of months but I do need to come back in a few weeks to process some papers for my medical coverage. On the way out we check with Ailsa to book the new appointment and much to my disappointment she is on Marla's side which is basically "no heavy lifting you big goof!" So for a while I will stick to feminine advice. Anybody want to come over and lift up a big water bottle for me?

The Call

I got a call today from Dr. Amson's office. I knew it was his office not just because of my special "Spidey-sense" but also because the phone's menu said who was calling. Oh my God, what do they want?"
Right from the very beginning we wait for the call. First of all it is the referral. Our GPs letter finally made it through to the surgeon's office and now they have selected me for an appointment next week. Well that would have been nice. Nope, they got the referral alright but the doctor is busy and won't be able to see me for three months. Well at least I got an appointment. A couple weeks later I get another call, it was the surgeon's office and they had a cancellation. Would I be able to go to it? Oh boy, sure. But that was followed shortly by another call asking "You don't mind if it is Sooke, do you?" I don't care, sure. But I am really beginning to wonder about their scheduling proceedure.
After that first meeting, I was told "we will call you when we have a date, but just keep coming in for your appointments."
The hard part about having appointments schedule four or five months apart is that there is always so many opportunities for things to change. Each one got changed somehow somewhere. And also, now that the staff got to know me, I was the one to call when they had a last minute change and needed to shove me somewhere. But I didn't complain. You can see the grief that the staff goes through once you have started spending some time in Dr. A's waiting room.
Then there was a shift. All my tests were done, Dr. A said "I was ready" and I would get that call when he had some surgery time. My time had arrived! Well no it didn't. It took another year or three more appointments before I got my date. In the meantime I would get a call from the Dr's office and I would be bouncing off the wall in anticipation - no - it was just to remind me that my appointment was next week. Sigh.
Finally Ailsa did call and it wasn't to change an appointment, or to get some more tests, this really was it. I got the call just before Dr. A went on holidays in July which meant I had over three months to brew about my date.
Earlier in September I did get another call. This one was asking me if I would consider giving up my date for another patient. I said I would leave the choice up to the surgeon. So my next call could be a good one or a bad one. I had no idea. But when I saw the office's ID on my phone, my heart goes up, I start to worry, take a deep breath and answer the phone.
Now I have had my surgery but I got a call today and the first thing I did was worry. I think we are trained to worry when we hear the phone ring.

Making Mistakes - all part of the process

I thought the road to recovery was paved with good intentions. Actually it is paved with mistakes, foibles, and errors in judgement. I am on day five of my recovery and unlike many people, I feel great! Maybe a little too great. I have a current feeling of an indestructible nature. Once I am fed, rested, and ready to go I can hustle about through my day. At least for two hours. Then it is imperative that I stop, rest, eat or just gather myself. For the last while I feel like I am living on a two hour a day installment plan.

Mistake #1 - Day 2 - Still in the hospital post recovery - Up and at 'em, ready to walk and off I go. I make yet another lap of the post surgery ward - everyone is asleep or gone and it is only 2pm. I discover the day surgery ward - this is where they checked me in, then off by the surgery halls to the cardiac unit - don't wanna go in there - then down the halls towards the elevator. I meet a guy who is 400 pounds checking in to see why he is having breathing and heart problems. In the hallway they have these staircases for people to rehab by going up and down stairs, so I try them out. I am really good at going up and aside from the slight pain in my side I am pretty bad at coming down. Then it hits me, whoa every ounce of energy is gone. Okay if I am going to make it back to the ward it is going to be slow and steady. It is a good thing there are a lot of chairs along the hallway. When I get back to my bed the nurses are ticked at me because they couldn't find me. Then they found out I was on the stairs and they were really upset, so I was 'benched' and not allowed out of the area for the rest of the day.

Mistake #2 - Day 4 - Oh what a beautiful morning - Marla is asleep - I get tired of playing fetch with the dog in the backyard and it is just too much. It is just too nice to stand and toss the ball. So I grabbed the dog's leash and we were off. I live on a fairly large block so it was off for an around the block stroll. I paced myself nicely and when I got to the soccer field Precious the Pub and I have a rest and watch the Sunday Morning players. Precious doesn't like soccer players too much. I could tell when she tried to run off and pulled hard on the leash. Okay, back to slow walking. Then Marla got miffed at me because I am apparently not supposed to walk nearly a kilometer four days out of the hospital

Mistake #3 - Day 3 - Better living through Chemistry - I am sure that it wasn't the long walk, or the trip to Costco, or going too long without eating but I was feeling crappy. So I had Tylenol 3's so I thought I should take them as directed for pain. The directions were to take one with yoghurt. But I am a dummy and remembered that it used to take three T3s before they would even kick in. So I dialed it back and popped two of the pills with some water. 20 minutes later I realized what a mistake that was. I felt really good. Outstandingly good. Lovingly good. I liked everybody. I was soooo relaxed and contented. And then I was hot, in a panic and realized I think I did something really stupid. I called a WLS friend and they explained how my new system isn't designed to take in as much caffeine that there is in Tylenol 3s. I really appreciate our network of help available.

So what am I learning through these mistakes. Well first of all I have to admit that there are so many mistakes available and I am allowed to make them. Oh my god I am not perfect. But honest, I am learning too. So until the next mistake...

VIHA Post Gastric Bypass Dietary Guidelines handout

here are pages from the handout that VIHA gave me on Post Gastric Bypass Dietary Guidelines. For some reason page 4 was blank so there is only five pages. Click on the page to enlarge it.

Blake's RNY Surgery - Part 3

On my second evening in the hospital Dr. Amson was in and checked on how I was doing. Which was pretty good. I had been up and walking around, I was in happy spirits, and feeling ready to go. He agreed and gave instructions to have my drain removed. If you have never had a drain before they are totally icky. It is basically a long thin tube that goes into the side of your chest just below the rib cage and attaches to some point way down inside of you. Outside of you is a continuation of the tube which leads to a bulb that is about the size of a tennis ball. The ball is scrunched down and forms a suction that will pull excess fluids out of you and into it as a storage chamber. This little ball that gets heavier as it is filled up is attached to your hospital gown and becomes your little buddy everywhere you go. All I had was this picture in my mind of my dog Precious who would see this ball reach up and grab it with her mouth. Precious loves balls and thinks every ball is something that she can play with. The nursing staff will drain the ball about twice a day and for some people they will teach you how to do this at home for yourself. I was so relieved when they said they would remove it on Thursday night.



GROSS ALERT *skip this paragraph if you get grossed out easy*

Removing the drain was likely the ickiest thing I did in my whole hospital stay. It starts by the nurses laying you on your side so that the line from the tube inside you is going upwards. They drain off the collection ball and cap the tube. Then they get you to think of something else while they slowly pull out the tube. I know you cannot feel the tube moving around inside of you but you can anticipate each centimeter of tubing and feel it as it is drawn out. Finally the plastic (or whatever it is made of) tubing comes out but there is still another 10 inches or so of this stuff that follows it. All in all there is about 24 inches of tubing and in my case another 1o inches of blood clot on the tube. A couple of steri-strips closes the wound and it is all over. It takes about 10 minutes and is, in my opinion, just plain icky.


GROSS ALERT OVER ****

At home I have this huge comfy bed with lots of quilts and pillows, an electric blanket, a warm spouse and the occasionally visiting big hairy dog who lays over my legs until she has had enough. At the hospital I had this uncomfortable plastic mattress that was set at a 30 degree tilt up, one ancient and flat pillow, a pad for under my hips, a blanket and a spot under a cooling vent. What is with the heating in post op recovery? I know they really care about their patients but it was so cold in there I am sure the hospital was trying to make us last longer like we were items on the shelf of a refrigerator. Brrr. I asked for more blankets and another pillow and tried sleeping again. Fortunately I remembered to ask if Dr. Amson would give me a sleeping pill. Nix on the sleeping drugs but I could have an Ativan. http://www.drugs.com/ativan.html.

I waited before taking the Ativan until we did all my blood sugar tests and was sort of sleepy enough to go to sleep. The pill does not make me sleeping but it does calm you down a lot. So soon I was fast asleep which lasted from about 10pm to 1:30am. Then I was wide awake. I knew I had to get some sleep so I tossed, turned and shivered the rest of the night until it was a reasonable time to wake up. About five thirty I woke up with this strange but familiar sensation. I had to have a bowel movement. NO WAY- Kerri told me she didn't have hers for five days and here I was less than 48 hours. But nope, my body has it own schedule and yes, the plumbing works!

I went back to sleep for a while longer. Even though Dr. Amson had everything ready for me to leave I couldn't go until Dr. Miller gave his a-ok. Dr. Amson came in at about 7am - My god that guy works long hours - but we didn't hear from Dr. Miller until 8am. But soon he was in and I was given the go-ahead to go home. My prescriptions for my diabetes had dropped from taking 9 metformin pills to only 3, my insulin requirements dropped from 100-160 units per night to 50 units. So there I was ready to go home. The nurses gave me my going away package from Dr. Amson (prescriptions for Tylenol 3 http://www.drugs.com/mtm/tylenol-with-codeine-3.html and another medication for an upset stomach. Included in the collection was some pages for Post Bariatric Guidelines. I will put them in my next post for you.

So here I was ready to go but I was not allowed to leave until I had my breakfast. Since we live about 20 minutes from the hospital I called Marla to come pick me up; then I waited for breakfast. And I waited. And Waited. Finally in about 25 minutes it arrived and I ate next to none of it. I was more anxious to get my stuff and go. Finally, I got out and found Marla and was ready to go home and start this new chapter of my life.

Blake's RNY Surgery - Part 2

So what can I say about my actual surgery. Well the guys wheeled me into the room and my first thought is 'wow this is much bigger than where I had my RNY." Then I looked around a bit, the anesthesiologist was there and introduced me to the people in the room. And there were lots of people. I lost count after nine of them. The put my guerny right up beside the operating table and got me to slide over onto the narrow narrow bed. I wasn't as concerned about it this time as I was when I had my gall bladder removed. Dr. Amson came in and said "Okay everybody, this is Blake and today he is going to have gastric surgery." Very cool I thought.

The anesthesiologist said "okay, lets get that line in. Now Blake your going to" ....... and I was out. From here on out I don't remember anything. I woke up in the recovery area momentarily. But then I was off to sleep. Finally I opened one eye an one of the angles of the recovery room were there. Her name name is Sarah and she was one of the four wonderful ladies who took care of me. I also had Maureen, Andrea, Charlene (from before) and Sarah not to mention all their colleagues who were nothing but nice to me.

The next time I work up it was to Sarah saying "I'm going to poke you now - Little poke" and then jabbed me with a needle of dilaudid http://www.rxlist.com/dilaudid-drug.htm. I am not a big fan of Dilaudid when it comes to drugs. It does have the kick of a mule punch that absolutely takes away any pain. But there is no good 'trip' with the drug. I used to get the best dreams on morphine when I was having kidney stones. So all I got to do was sleep which in this case was just the thing I needed.

I think everyone is trained to say "I'm just going to poke you now - Little poke." I got that each time they tested my blood sugar (4 times a day), Heprin (1 a day), Dilaudid (at least six times). A note about the Dilaudid - it is not so bad going in but about half way through the dose it burns a bunch, and then you fall asleep.

The best wake up was when I looked up from my bed and there was Marla. Marla has been my biggest supporter throughout this process. She has been a joy to have around and just lights up my day when I see her. She, apparently, likes me under the influence of strong chemicals. I would wake up "Hi hon, I love you. I missed you. How long have I been asleep? That long? Oh Hi hon, I love you. I missed you. How long have I been asleep? That long? I missed you." She like the attention and apparently I am more futzer when I am not drugged.

But there I was, bright and awake. It has only been about seven hours since I had my operation and I wanted to do a walk. My first walk was around the ward area. In the recovery area there are about 16 paddock stalls that hold surgery patients. I noticed there were even a couple of bariatric beds in there for wider patients. I walked about and talked to a few of the people who were awake and approachable. There were some really nice people there. The lady next to me was also a Dr. Amson patient as well. We had a good time comparing notes about him.

I finally settled down and watched a couple tv shows on my PSP and iPhone. I learned from my last hospital stay that it is imperative that any entertainment lasts only 20 or 25 minutes. Any thing you read must have large text or lots of pictures. The worst thing I did was watch a comedy special by John Pinette. His bit about diets and juicing just about killed me. http://youtu.be/WLdNTMa1xZA It is very hard to laugh a lot when your stomach has been sewn down to one eighth its normal size.

Another Shot in the arm and I was ready to call it a night. It was amazing how quiet the room was. I remember Kerri telling me to take ear plugs and I couldn't find mine but it turned out there were no problems. Nobody snored except me. :)

Blake's Pre-op waiting for surgery part 1

Surgery day - Part one
The alarm went off at 5am but it didn't have to. I have been up for ten minutes already because there is no way I am going to miss this date. I did the second surgical scrubbed down, have performed this procedure only four hours ago before I went to bed. Thoroughly scrubbed from head to foot I got up and made Marla some morning coffee. I checked my two bags I was taking with me to the hospital. I knew already that I was staying two days and it may likely be three according to Dr. Miller my endocrinologist. So I had one little bag packed for the surgery day - it contained - my glasses, toothbrush and paste, comb, deoderent, and other little knick knacks one would pack for a flight nowadays. I also had my iPhone, an iPhone charger, and a note pad with a couple of pens. The second bag was one for the remaining days - it had my PSP, a collection of movies, a magazine or two, a housecoat, a clean t-shirt, and a pair of slippers.

I figured it best to keep both bags in the car and we took off for the hospital. We were supposed to be there at about 6:45am and we arrived at 6:43. That was a good sign. We parked in front of the hospital and found they had everything all ready for us. Day Surgery on the Royal Jubilee Hospital is located on the third floor of hospital. We passed all the scarey places like the heart clinic and such and got down to the end of the hall where surgery is located. We were welcomed at the counter when the host gave Marla a piece of paper with the phone number on it and the time that they could expect my surgery to be complete and I would be waking up. Then they told us to kiss goodbye and shoo-ed Marla off.

I was instructed to remove all my clothing and put on two industrial size hospital gowns. The first that ties to your back leaving my best side exposed to the world. The other tarp with arm holes and strings went on like a housecoat. I put on a paper slippers which was a challenge to figure out not only inside and out but front and back as well. Then we put all my belongings in a big blue laundry hamper bag and locked them in to locker number one. Of course now that I was all changed and bundled up I had to pee.

So before I was directed to my pre-op surgery bed, I had to detour to the scale. When I first started this voyage I wanted to get my pre-op surgery weight down to 300. I had started at 339 in 2008 and since then I have dropped down. Then last week we spent some holiday time in Tofino and when I weighed myself on Dr. Amson's scale on Monday my poundage went up to 305. So after two days of liquid diet and the great purge before the surgery, my weight went down to 299.5 I know it sounds a little like cheating but really I didn't set up any of the parameters to how I wanted to get below 300.

The staff, lead by a real sweetie nurse, Charlene, got me all settled down. First of all they had to check my blood, they forgot the test to see how long it takes to clot so they needed to do a second draw. They also checked to cross type my blood to make sure that they had some spare on hand. I had a visit from the anesthesiologist who was a really nice guy. He checked my mouth, teeth and throat, reviewed my allergies and what happened when I had my gall bladder out. He had a big binder all about me and reviewed it with me. Dr. Amson passed my bed to say hi and that he was glad we were able to get me done. I had this great feeling like my time has come. Charlene tried to put in an IV port but couldn't find a good line and they only get one try. But that's okay - she said "they would do it in the operating room."

Soon she handed me off to a couple of guys in the pre-op waiting area. This is where you go when you are just about to head into the surgery. I was happy to go there because I was the last one left in the pre-op prep area. They asked me all the same questions that Charlene did, gave me a shot of heprin http://www.rxlist.com/heparin-drug.htm, and got ready to push me to the surgery room. Then they noticed that I didn't have my IV line in and said "they would do it in the operating room."

So off the guys pushed me down the hallway. Along the way we bumped into Dr. Amson checking his email. For anyone who hasn't met Dr. Amson, he is a thin rail of a tall person and could definitely use a little poundage on him. So there it was early in the morning and he was noshing on a big doughnut. He's allowed, but the two porters and I chucked about the irony of it as we moved into the operating room

My last meal before surgery

Okay, so this day has finally arrived. It was my last lunch with the body I was given. Wednesday will be my surgery but prior to that I have to stop eating solid food almost a whole day. My surgery will be first thing in the morning so my last meal was going to be lunch on Tuesday. There really only was one choice in my mind. Marla and I went to the Japanese Village.

We used to go to the Japanese Village back when we first started dating in 1974 when we lived in Calgary. In 1975 we first came to Victoria when the Village was new out here. We have had romantic suppers and quick lunches there through every transition of our lives together. This was one more transition.

This was also one of those places where I could pack the food away. When Marla and I first started going to the Japanese Village, we were the only ones who would have Sesame Sauce on our rice. Now it is common practice. And I was quite proud that I could knock back four bowls. The gluttony of my life was amazing. As a reminder to me, here is the recipe and nutritional analysis for Japanese Village Sesame Steak Sauce. http://caloriecount.about.com/japanese-village-steak-sauce-recipe-r76175.

But on the other end of the scale, I only had one bowl of rice, I didn't clean my plate, I ate (oh my god) almost like a normal person. It was a great meal; we were filled with good food and wonderful conversation. We didn't really make much of this being my last meal with my big tummy. Actually just looking at what was on the table we will be able to return here again. Maybe not for a while, but someday. There is good protein here, nice veggies, maybe a little rice and that wonderful sauce. I keep mentioning to people that it's not food it is only fuel. And I do feel that way, but in this case, some fuels are better than others. So this is a meal I will remember for all the right reasons.

Some good friends aren't so good

Three days and counting. It is all getting closer. I have a huge sense of loss; of saying goodbye to a dear old friend. Most likely the kind of friend who would invite you out and you would spend the evening womanizing, drinking bad booze, stealing a car and getting into a fight. I guess it is all in the company you keep. My buddy definitely lived in the refrigerator. I am meeting him a lot lately as I take this time to prepare the house. I am cleaning out the fridge and discovering treasures like the stash of chocolate bars or the little treats I kept there just waiting for me to snack. Another of my not-so-good friends live in the cupboard. They are up there with the healthy snacks I didn't eat - Rice Cake has an undetermined lifespan. The bags of chips and jars of pretzels lay in wait to become a half-time snack.
I am clearing them all out, tossing them away in the trash. Oh, I have done this before. Just about every diet I have ever tried involved getting rid of my treasure trove of junk food. This time does feel different. I know that without facing this demon and dealing with the urge to snack and replace my emotions with food and treats.
Something that is different is my change of attitude about treats and food rewards. Thanks to Jan Klitz, the WLS nutritionist, I have learned that food is fuel. It is important to find alternate rewards. I also learned that food has a value. Junk food is junk. That mindset has helped me stop eating many of the foods that used to be my friends.
So here it is - three days to my surgery. I am very excited and quite optimistic in what is to come. I am very glad for the support and encouragement I have have received from my friends and colleagues. I don't see this as a miracle cure - it is simply the start of a new life for me.

Walking, Walking, Waliking

At my first meeting with Dr. Amson, he gave me the marathon speech. The one that says his patients will lose their weight and be out running marathons and races. I really didn't believe him. First of all I never pictured myself capable of running mile after mile for no reason aside from completing and competing in a race. Of course I could see myself running away from something that fast but that is another story from a wicked past.
Second, I could not picture myself lumbering along again with my 340 pounds of weight crushing down on my knees. No Way!
So I found myself going for walks. I am part of a group of guys who go walking each Saturday morning and every Tuesday evening. It started off doing a short walk that eventually worked its way up to about five kilometers. It takes me about an hour and it is not really all that taxing. That is except to say for one hill at the Cedar Hill Rec center that is steep and seems to go on forever.
So Christopher and I are regulars on the trail. I couldn't have kept up with my exercises if it were not for my friend Christopher. If I feel like skipping a day I cannot because I know he is there waiting and I provide the same service to him.
My wife too is very supportive of my exercise and even joins me on my thursday nights workout. It is honestly humbling to know I have these people in my corner.
But back to the walks. After I first met Dr. Amson, I wanted to believe everything he said. But rather than run I chose to walk. My first walk was the Times Colonist 10K. It took me over two hours and fifteen minutes but I made it through. Part of the inspiration while I was on the walk was that there were many people who I knew from the weight loss community also walking. It is really a pick me up to see friendly faces along the way. And so many other faces too. People I don't know are cheering me along the way and lots of music and celebration going on. It is an excellent way to spend a morning.
Since my first meeting with Dr. Amson I have walked in three Times-Colonist 10k's, two Goodlife 8k's, three CIBC Runs for the Cure, not to mention over 100 Saturday and 100 Tuesday 5k walks. I have actually enjoyed my walks and with the prospects of being healthier and smaller, running in some of those runs. Maybe I could work up to a half-marathon. But Marathon runners are still crazy.

meeting the anesthetist - the last presurgery appointment

Pizza and I no longer get along. I mention this because I was told before meeting the anesthetist that I would need to fast for 10 hours. Last time I had pizza my blood sugars soared to the mid 20s. So with surgery so close and a threat from Dr. Miller my endochrinologist, threatened that if my surgars are above 8.3 no go. So here I was at work, my last meal before the fast and the only thing they are serving is pizza. I pick a small slice with lots of meat and skip the crust. So the rest of the night goes really good, except my team lose the hockey game, but all is good. Most of all I am not hungry which is really good.

This is supposed to be my last appointment before my surgery in 12 days. So I gather up my Dr. Amson bag and get it ready for my 9am morning appointment. For anyone who hasn't read my reports before, my Dr. Amson bag is designed for waiting in the doctor's office for hours on end. It contains a laptop, digital movies and tv shows, all my bloodwork for the past four years, all my weigh in's at Dr. Amson's office, my list of questions from each time I visit the doctor and my gameboy. So I am ready for hanging out at the RJH.

Parking sucks at the RJH. It has to be the worst hospital parking lot. But not a lot of options and Marla and I drive up to the top level. At least now there is a better short cut through the patient center and over to the check in. A little volunteer took us over to Clinic 1 and got us settled. In a few minutes we were checked in, all the paperwork was signed, and they me into a cubical to take 8 vials of blood for a Chem7 panel. http://surgery.about.com/od/beforesurgery/qt/BloodChemistry.htm

From there I met with the anesthetist - who was a really nice guy but I forgot his name as soon as he told me. I didn't even have time to write it down. We talked about my exercise plan and my daily diet. We talked about hockey. He told us a story about how when his dad was a doctor in Prince George that he would be paid for delivering a baby by receiving a bag of flour from the parents equal to the doctor's fee. Then we got back to talking about me. He told me that in my kind of cases, and likely all obesity cases, they are most concerned about getting tubes and such down the throat. The accomplish this by using a small camera to guide their way. Then we asked the big question which was "Why did I have trouble starting breathing after my last surgery?"

His response was to go to the records of my 2009 surgery and discovered that I didn't have trouble starting breathing just that I was not getting enough air. All they had to do was increase my oxygen for a bit longer. That wasn't what they told my wife back then and that was part of the reason she was freaking out over this operation. However, he did mention that they made many notes about the duration and volume of my snoring while I was in post surgical recovery.

He went on to talk about my fitness level. Because I walk and work out so much he said that I was in good shape and ready for the surgery. According to him I am a 'fit-fat guy', which is a good thing in my books.

So all I have to do now is not take my morning diabetes pills on the day of the operation, and come in ready for my surgery. And with that he sent me off for the next test. I liked it - I was sleepy still because I got up extra early to come in for my appointment and I didn't sleep so well anyways. So for the next test I got to lie on a bed while they did an ECG to check out my heart. I nearly fell asleep which they said was a good thing.

And then they sent me to Xray. I get Xrays every couple of years because of my early work in theater's filled with asbestos so this really wasn't any different. The cool part now was that the tech had some time to show me the Xray. So I got to look at my chest which is basically like a Halloween skeleton with a big cotton ball inside it. But it was cool except he wasn't able to give me a copy of the images for my facebook pictures.

Two and a half hours later we were done and it was time to go home. By now I was really hungry and Marla was even more famished so we took off to Denny's. Denny's has one of the worst meals I could have - a chicken fried steak sandwich - but I am saying good bye to meals that have done the damage to me. And it really wasn't that good.

Tonight I bumped into Dr. Amson at the hockey game and we had a chance to talk about getting ready for my surgery. It was really nice to get some encouragement from him and I got him to commit to going on the Times-Colonist 10k in May. He told me that he could see me losing about 80 pounds by the time the TC10K happens - I can't picture that but it is a nice vision.

Two weeks to surgery day

Each day is like a series of lasts. My last monday at work. My last staff meeting. My last luncheon at Interurban. Tonight was my last Chinese supper. Sherrie runs the Chinese restaurant where we are regulars. She knows our order before we walk into the door. We will return to Halibut House Fish and Chips and Chinese Food but next time it will be different.

I am looking forward to life after surgery but realistically thinking that this RNY is not going to be the magic pill that I always wanted it to be. I am still going to have to watch what I eat, exercise, and endeavor to live a healthy lifestyle. We then why the hell am I having this Surgery? For me the main reason is that it is plain that I cannot do this myself or I would have done it ages ago.

So it is two weeks from today and I feel great. Does that mean I don't really need my surgery? Well I feel really good but I am still about 305 pounds. That is about 110 pounds more than I should be. But I feel fine. Fine except that my chest is always sore. I feel, as I tell everyone "excellent" but I don't tell them that I am taking twice the amount of insulin that I am supposed to just to keep my levels low enough so that I will qualify for my surgery. I guess despite how I feel I really do need this surgery.

I am getting all prepared for life after surgery. Today I ordered my vitamins from SVCCanada. Over $100 in vitamins gave me free shipping and so after a little comparison it was a good deal.
I am looking forward only taking a few pills and drops compared to the ten I am taking each day for diabetes and to counter the effect of the diabetes pills.

Soon I will be counting down in single digits. Time to stop taking aspirins, switch more of my meals to a liquid based diet, and get ready for my surgery. This is starting to become very real.

The difference between being scared and being nervous

I am seventeen days away from my surgery. I have moments of being afraid of what I am committing to and moments of total confidence. For the last while it has been outrageously afraid and scared. I have no intention of chickening out or running away from the situation. In truth, that is the part I am the most prepared for along this journey. I know that two days before the surgery I will begin the process with a rather embarrassing and uncomfortable clean up procedure, then after a day of new eating, I will go into a hospital where my orginal parts will be rearranged for what they came as into a whole new plumbing system. Then after a few days of managed pain, I will come home and start a long recovery.

This part is okay. What concerns me is how my life is going to change after surgery. Actually that's wrong. I think what is scaring me is that I could fail. I am not planning to fail, in actuality I plan to succeed and make the most of this gift. My track record at weight loss is not that good. OA, Weight Watchers, Counseling, all led down the same path. I would lose a bit and gain some more. The same goes for exercise, I walked miles, swam many kilometers, and even organized my own fitness group. I worked hard, sweated, and actually felt pretty good. But still I kept on growing and gaining.

So now here I am dealing with the aspect that I might fail and that is being resolved with the best way that I know - I am eating more than I should. Well I did for about 24 hours. I could identify with the help of the forums and Facebook that I was going through a natural nervous hungry. And so now I know the difference between being scared and being nervous.

Being Scared is when you don't understand or know why you are reacting to a situation. Being nervous is knowing what is coming and actually being prepared for it.