Three days and counting. It is all getting closer. I have a huge sense of loss; of saying goodbye to a dear old friend. Most likely the kind of friend who would invite you out and you would spend the evening womanizing, drinking bad booze, stealing a car and getting into a fight. I guess it is all in the company you keep. My buddy definitely lived in the refrigerator. I am meeting him a lot lately as I take this time to prepare the house. I am cleaning out the fridge and discovering treasures like the stash of chocolate bars or the little treats I kept there just waiting for me to snack. Another of my not-so-good friends live in the cupboard. They are up there with the healthy snacks I didn't eat - Rice Cake has an undetermined lifespan. The bags of chips and jars of pretzels lay in wait to become a half-time snack.
I am clearing them all out, tossing them away in the trash. Oh, I have done this before. Just about every diet I have ever tried involved getting rid of my treasure trove of junk food. This time does feel different. I know that without facing this demon and dealing with the urge to snack and replace my emotions with food and treats.
Something that is different is my change of attitude about treats and food rewards. Thanks to Jan Klitz, the WLS nutritionist, I have learned that food is fuel. It is important to find alternate rewards. I also learned that food has a value. Junk food is junk. That mindset has helped me stop eating many of the foods that used to be my friends.
So here it is - three days to my surgery. I am very excited and quite optimistic in what is to come. I am very glad for the support and encouragement I have have received from my friends and colleagues. I don't see this as a miracle cure - it is simply the start of a new life for me.
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