The difference between being scared and being nervous

I am seventeen days away from my surgery. I have moments of being afraid of what I am committing to and moments of total confidence. For the last while it has been outrageously afraid and scared. I have no intention of chickening out or running away from the situation. In truth, that is the part I am the most prepared for along this journey. I know that two days before the surgery I will begin the process with a rather embarrassing and uncomfortable clean up procedure, then after a day of new eating, I will go into a hospital where my orginal parts will be rearranged for what they came as into a whole new plumbing system. Then after a few days of managed pain, I will come home and start a long recovery.

This part is okay. What concerns me is how my life is going to change after surgery. Actually that's wrong. I think what is scaring me is that I could fail. I am not planning to fail, in actuality I plan to succeed and make the most of this gift. My track record at weight loss is not that good. OA, Weight Watchers, Counseling, all led down the same path. I would lose a bit and gain some more. The same goes for exercise, I walked miles, swam many kilometers, and even organized my own fitness group. I worked hard, sweated, and actually felt pretty good. But still I kept on growing and gaining.

So now here I am dealing with the aspect that I might fail and that is being resolved with the best way that I know - I am eating more than I should. Well I did for about 24 hours. I could identify with the help of the forums and Facebook that I was going through a natural nervous hungry. And so now I know the difference between being scared and being nervous.

Being Scared is when you don't understand or know why you are reacting to a situation. Being nervous is knowing what is coming and actually being prepared for it.