catching up

The thing with blogs, diaries, notebooks is that you have to use them. If you put them to the side and forget about them for a while you end up in the situation like I am today. I had a bunch of stuff to write and a bunch of stuff that I should have written. So this little blog is going backwards starting with the most recent and working towards the stuff that I should have filled in.

What's on my mind most lately is a discussion I have been having with some people about eating styles. As a bariatric patient I must be careful about my carb intake but that also gets in conflict with my spirit of rebellion. I have long time been a rebel without a clue. Why else would I do some of the amazingly dumb things that I have done in my past. But each time was a learning experience and I am a better person for it.

One of the comments the person made to me was no longer should I have implicit trust in the professionals (physicians, surgeons, nutritionists, and trainers) because they haven't gone through the full bariatric experience. In a way they are right. Sometimes talking to skinny Dr. Amson about weight loss challenges is the same as going to a priest for sexual relationship advice. They have the knowledge but not the experience. On the otherhand they also have the training and experience with a wider subject group to know what they are talking about.

My part of the deal is to treat my body as it should be treated after surgery and following the advice and guidance of those who have been there before.

There is a bit of a challenge here because as I was discussing with another friend it is clear that there are two kinds of surgeries happening - a new school and old school. I have come to the belief that five years ago surgery and the way people reacted to their operation is very different that the recent batch of patients who have gone through the process. We are pretty much all done laparoscopic and did not have to face the major skin and muscle healing that open patients did. Combined with that was the improvements in techniques that the surgeons have done over the years made our healing and coping time better and faster than before.

As a result the new school of patients heal faster and adjust better than their counterparts did. I think the changes in surgery and healing times add to some differing opinions within our community. This would also explain the great difference of opinions that people have about the treatment of our new pouch. My surgeon told me to 'test out the pouch' very early in my recovery and other experienced patients could not belief this advice.

It is very confusing when the experts say one thing and the experienced say another. I think like with everything both are right in their own way. Now it is simply a matter of choosing what is right for me.

My last free day

Well it has finally come. After 87 days of being away from the office I am returning to work tomorrow morning. So to celebrate my last free day Precious and I went for a walk, cleaned up all the balls in the backyard (Precious is good at chasing balls and not so got at bringing them back) and then Marla and I went out for lunch. So there I was looking at the menu at John's Place. Marla likes it because they have these awesomely decedent Belgian waffles with a great cream cheese sauce stuff. I tried it a long time ago and went into immediate diabetic shock. But she likes it and it doesn't hurt her.

So there I was looking over the menu for John's Place special breakfasts. http://www.johnsplace.ca/breakfast/ There really is nothing there for me to eat. Lots of sweet stuff, lots of food that normal people who like eating enough for three other people would really enjoy. My favourite John's Place meal was Huevos Rancheros but I couldn't finish eating it when I was big. Their meatloaf is great. But I scroll down to the bottom and find this cheap little omlette "The Good, The Bad and Simple Western." Only $5.95 and it is down to a choice between that and one lonely egg. This was my first shot at trying an omlette since the surgery. So here I gave it a go and it was fine. I couldn't eat much of it but for that little price I didn't mind.

I no longer get the value of meals out anymore. For the most part I only have a few spoons and am full, so that $15 entree is kind of a waste. We share meals out when we eat out but we have done that for ages. Although the tables have been turned and Marla gets the largest portion of the meal. Good thing we like the same stuff most of the time.

So tomorrow I go back to my office work. I am looking forward to it but I really did enjoy my time off. So back I go and hopefully get back into the swing of things quickly. My first big test will come on Wednesday when I return to the Interurban Cafeteria. That is one of my favourite food places. Really the goal is skip the food places and go to exercise.

I think I have to retrain my head to say "Go Exercise" when it is saying "Go Eat."

Happy New Year 2012

Okay so 2011 is over and now we ready to face 2012. The Mayan calendar ends this year but I don't think it is the end of the world. My feeling is that when the calendar ends we simply start over. That is what 2012 means to me. It is a time to start over.

My RNY surgery was October 19, 2011. It changed my life and after 55 years I find myself starting over. The nice thing about starting over is that you have all this experience from what you did in the past that didn't work. My past has taught me that the easy way is not always the best way. To achieve I need to focus. Finally I need to learn from my past and not repeat it.

So I was happy to finish my year by working. We did the set up for the Victoria Symphony down at the Royal Theater. This was the first time I got back to work in the theater since the surgery. I had a great time. I am 30 pounds lighter and it is so much easier to move about. I is nice to work in the beautiful old theater.

Marla and I brought in the new years with barbeque ribs and a lovely quiet evening. It was just an excellent night. We watched old tv shows and relaxed the night away. We really didn't make any new year's resolutions but I think my new year's resolution is really what I wish for everyone as well as myself throughout the year - heath and happiness.

Merry Christmas

Christmas season was a nice time for me. I really enjoy the getting out and shopping. The little things like impromptu concerts on the street and it is great sharing time with Marla as we make it through my recovery. Speaking of which, here I am stuck at -30. Stuck again. It appears that while those I know lose gradually like going down a slide, I appear to be going down like it is a set of steps. Down, slide a long, down, slide a long. So this time I don't panic. Just ride it out. I still exercise; I still eat less.

In our world we have this great schedule of Christmas activities. Christmas eve is a special dinner at home. Christmas day is a Scottish dinner with very dear old friends. Boxing Day is our own turkey dinner. I face it with a bit of apprehension because for our boxing eve dinner I made a very tender roast pork. I dumped. We had Game Hen for Christmas. I dumped big time. Now, Boxing Day I am not sure if I really want to make a turkey. It is all thawed and ready to go. Part of me says cut my losses and run. The other part is saying 'no, eat smaller, chew more, and learn".

I think that is what this is all about. Learning.

Catching up and not going anywhere

I had that darnedest thing happen this morning. I was looking in the mirror and for a moment - just a moment - I didn't recognize myself. My chipmunk cheeks were missing. The other thing that I noticed is that my fingers looked longer. I don't think they were longer further out from my body but they look narrower and hence longer.

I have been very angry with myself lately because I have stopped losing weight. It is dissappointing to see all these people reporting that their weight continues to fall and in the mean while mine has only dropped one pound in two weeks. Going down is better than going up, much better, but I am really frustrated. Everyone else says "Don't worry, stalls and plateaus are normal" but I thought they would come in five or six months after my surgery and not at five or six weeks.

I keep seeing a old British World War Two sign that says "Keep Calm and Carry On". It shows up everywhere and I guess that it is the universe giving me a message. So I am going to take everyone's advice and keep doing what I am doing - which is my best effort at staying healthy - and go on through my day. Keeping Calm and Carrying On. So out I go to exercise - I only have a few weeks left before work will interfere with my workout schedule. As my plan was before, I want to make the most of this time. I have increased my walks to between 8 and 10km and doing this now five or six times a week. The dog really likes the walks but after a 10k walk she wants to sleep for about an hour. Then it is back to being a crazy dog.

Plateaus, forums, and closet cleaning

Week Seven - I did my regular Sunday weigh-in and I am only down a pound. Crap. I know that plateaus are supposed to happen but that didn't stop me from wanting it to go on and on. I got used to my losing three to four pounds per week. But here I am only dropping one. One is good and losing one is better than gaining.
I think the biggest issue here is considering that I have undergone a major change in my physical structure; I should have an expectation for my body to take the occasional time to rebuild and adjust to my new stomach, eating plan, and exercise schedule. Thanks to some advice and counsel on Facebook and WLS Private Group I feel a bit better.
I was out having lunch with Marla yesterday, a trip downtown to enjoy the Tuba Christmas concert and lunch at one of our favourite restaurants. I find I still cannot eat steak very well but I enjoyed watching Marla have hers. I had a really good peanut chicken where I could only eat a few bits and bites of chicken and that was enough.
Yesterday was also our WLS Saturday Forum group. There were not many of us there; in fact I was a little disheartened that more people don't go to the forums. I am not sure why people do not attend the forums. It is like they go through the steps to get their surgery then stop when the forum could do them the most good. I really wonder why people dissappear after surgery. I think it is because at the heart of this disease is the desire to be independent. So as soon as they are done - poof - they are gone. I hope it works for them. For me I need the experience of people who have been there before.
Tonight Marla and I emptied my closet out off all the bad, oversize, and old clothes. We cleared out bunches of t-shirts and sweaters that I have collected over the years. Somebody at Value Village is going to get a whole bunch of rock 'n' roll roadie t-shirts real soon.

Its a question of size

Today I found myself having lunch with Marla. As usual we were in a hurry and I couldn't find really anywhere good to eat so we ended up at a shopping mall Japanese Restaurant - Edo Japan. Edo was one of my fav presurgery restaurants. It was fairly easy to knock off a large plate of teriyaki chicken, side of sushi, and a large coke. I was fairly confident that I could fool myself into eating healthy.
So here I am six weeks after my surgery, down 25 pounds, and feeling pretty good. So now it is a question of choices. I am now looking at this small plate that Marla and I are sharing thing "Wow, this isn't very much." Really it was more than enough. I was able to have some of the chicken - it was better with just a little sauce on it as opposed to smothered in sugary good the way I liked it before - and I enjoyed a few mushrooms. Rice, bad idea. But this time I could anticipate full and stopped before I got into trouble.

So what's the difference in six weeks? Here is a pair of pics a month a part. Not much difference for now but I can sure feel better.


Not a lot of difference yet, but at six weeks I am at the start of my journey not the end.

For me it is now learning that the amount I eat is smaller and its noticeable. I am getting smaller - barely noticeable. I keep reminding myself that I am at a point my choices are important. When I started eating smaller I used to get my servings on a salad plate instead of a dinner plate, now I have down graded that to a saucer. I know I am just a newbie at this, and who knows what changes will happen, but for now I am happy and grateful that things are going the way they are.